Husband being an arse again

[Dinkiedoo]

Every time I have a stressful period in my life my husband becomes an arse.
Two years ago my mum died after a long illness. He snapped at me while I was on phone arranging her funeral ! I locked myself in our bed room and told him to F off. Didnt speak for a long while. Told him in no uncertain terms what an arse he was being.
This week hes been snappy again .
Ive been quite poorly since mum died and not really been able to grieve mum. Now Im well againits hit me with avengance. Its her 2 year anniversary and Im finding it tough.

Its as if he senses this and becomes critical and not the usual loving husband

Free yourself and end it. Imagine never having to fear one of his moods again.

I had this with the ex, he sniffed out the times i was more vulnerable...cruel. its so they can slowly beat you down and because they dont want you relying on them for anything. Get rid

😥

If he can't support you at your weakest, most vulnerable moments then what's the point in him? Your husband is supposed to be there for you, through the good times AND the bad. Sounds like he's more of a hindrance than a help and only adding to your sadness.

I dont want to leave him.
Our relationship usually very good but at times like this hes a pain

Have you told him how he makes you feel? I don't mean shouting at him that he's a pain in the arse and to fuck off, but spoken calmly to him about how his lack of support and understanding at times like these effects you?

I only told him to f off once which under the circumstances was justified.
Ive told him how this behaviour makes me feel . He then gets upset 😡

I am sorry but your husband does not sound like a nice man.

Going in your opinion that's really good I would try asking HIM how he feels when YOU have major life upsets like this ?

I would guess he's being the typical man that wants to fix things for the woman that he loves but he can't fix things like that so he himself gets himself worked up because if he loves you its genuinely distressing and he doesnt know the actions to take ?. Would look at yours and his live languages too.

It may seem very selfish but I recon if he answers similar to above you can help guide him on what he can do ?

Not going to be a popular opinion but if he is genuinely a good man otherwise I would bet on it

Is he perhaps always an arse but you notice it a lot more when things are particularly difficult?

You feeling bad is his happy place and he likes his happy place. That’s why he does it. Bonus points for being able to get there so easily.

It’s not right. You probably can not change him. People only change when they can see personal benefit in changing except he likes his happy place.

The ball is in your court as to what you do with your life.

What does he say exactly when he’s an arse?

Its not what he says its his attitude. Becomes condescending. Thinks hes my boss if that makes sense

If you don't want to leave then you need to accept that any time you need emotional support you a) will not get it from him, so you need another support network and b) you should expect that he will actively make your stressful time far worse.

When your world doesn't revolve around him he becomes a selfish twat. Aren't you worth more op?