Ok so this may be a bit of a long one!
My ex who I was with 10 years and kids together ended it last year however we continued to live together for a year as normal, sex/cooking/cleaning etc it was confusing to say the least.
Earlier this year I made a mistake by meeting up with someone from a dating app. Nothing happened just chatted. This was heavily influenced by people around me telling me I was wasting my life etc waiting him to leave. My ex reacted very badly to the meet up, even though we'd spoke about it and he had the kids, and he'd spent the previous year saying how he was leaving but we had continued as normal in the mean time. This resulted in him having to leave the home abruptly. Straight away I realised I still love my ex and have told him all this time, just want to work it out.
Now the complicated part. For a couple weeks after he left we were in constant contact/sleeping together and then he changed. He had got with someone else although refused to admit this until 2 months later then introduced our kids a week after admitting to it. We have continued to have a bit of a fiery relationship, I say something and he reacts badly. We have also slept together every month since he left, meanwhile hes in this relationship, has taken on her kid and has our kids around her. I didn't agree with them being introduced so soon but what could I do.
We last slept together on Christmas eve at his place and then hes had his girlfriend/kid there since boxing day and played happy families with our kids.
He will say things like I can't be doing this I'm in a relationship and then in the next breath tell me to stop having emotional outbursts as it's a good arrangement we've got and it's fun, but that I shouldn't expect it all the time and it's on his terms. Also that theres no chance we will get back together.
I feel like I'm in a cat and mouse situation, I back off and he comes sniffing around and vice versa. Uses the kids as an excuse to pop up when theres no need, like hes checking up on me. Still rings me first when theres a problem and he needs help.
But if there was nothing between us, why would the physical side keep happening?
Reality is I want my family back and can't let go, but I also know this situation is not healthy for anyone. I don't want to sound bitter but this situation just hurts. The kids are not aware of any of this I'd like to stress!
Please no judgement I'm fully aware I'm no angel either and thank you for reading!