Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Unable to get myself heard

2 replies

WishIwasElsa · 30/12/2023 21:07

Just for a bit of background I have long struggled with my MH which seems worse than ever recently so I tried to talk to my mum about some of what I think has contributed to this. I was calm and not confrontational but I just didn't feel heard at all.

I talked about how unkind things that family members said to me when I was younger always related to my weight. This was sort of acknowledged but apparently was only occasionally said so shouldn't have had this impact on me. What I remember was an almost constant when these family were around. Then there was the backhanded compliments, never just a you look nice always with the added if only attachment. After I had said how this had affected how I view myself and do now to this day her response was she was disappointed in me for refusing to get braces.
I just felt so defeated so have worked myself up to having that conversation and just get nothing back.

OP posts:
Hiddenvoice · 30/12/2023 23:23

It’s upsetting you didn’t get the response you were hoping for but be proud of yourself for having the confidence to have that conversation.

You have overcome such a big step, something that has been on your mind for a very long time. You’ve got your feelings out there! Be proud of that achievement!

Sadly, no matter what your mum replied with, it won’t take away the pain that it’s caused you. Even a ‘sorry you feel like that’ wouldn’t erase everything you’ve been through.
Now it’s time to focus on rebuilding you. You’ve been brave and now you’re going to continue focussing on your next steps and keep working on your self esteem and confidence.

I know all of this is easy for me to day and it’s your life so not as simple to just move past. I’ve struggled massively with my mental health and sometimes I need to remind myself that all I can control is me. I can’t always control a situation but I can control how I deal with it and how I choose to feel about it. Don’t be deflated with how the conversation went. You said what you needed to say so now think of it from a different angle of you had the confidence in yourself.

WishIwasElsa · 31/12/2023 09:53

Thankyou for your kind words your right I cannot change how other people react only myself.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page