Dealing with mum guilt

[FromLittleAcornsGrow]

I have recently had to make the heart breaking decision to place my mum in a nursing home. She’s 93 and was really ill and we thought she was going to die. I had 3 months off work looking after her until I could no longer manage her and financially I needed to return to work.
At the time mum agreed it was the best solution.
we found a lovely home for her and generally the care is very good, but she’s so unhappy. Every time I visit she begs me to go home and says she knows she agreed to it but she did it for me and now she realises it’s not what she was expecting and wants to go home. She doesn’t seem to realise that she can’t manage at home with the amount of care she now needs. Even with a maximum care package she wouldn’t be able to manage.
I just feel so guilty. I visit her pretty much every day and I am getting so worn out trying to work full time, be here for my own family and deal with mum’s unhappiness.
do i just need to suck it up and get on with it? Any advice from anyone who has been through this?

No advice really on this but just wanted to say this sounds so so hard. It also sounds like you had no alternative so remind yourself of that. Be kind to yourself. Perhaps some counselling for you would help?

Have you had a conversation with the staff in the home about your mum?. If so what have they advised?.

We were advised to allow my nan some time in order for her to settle in when she first came to live in the nursing home. My dad at their suggestion did not visit her for around a week or so and thereafter she was far more settled in her new surroundings.

Try not to feel guilty about placing her in a home. You need to be kind to yourself and your mother is in a safe place.

So sorry, must be so hard for you.
just wanted to say that you may get more replies if your thread was moved to ‘elderly parents’ section. Always fab advice there