How did you know your relationship had 'run it's course'

solange10 · 30/12/2023 18:56

Cartrucktractor · 30/12/2023 18:52

No great drama.... Just, how did you know when to call it a day in your marriage? What was the tipping point, if it just kind of petered out (rather than affairs or anything massive)

Emm for me I have been in a marriage where I know I should not be in. 15 years together and 10 years married and I have no feelings for him anymore. This started when he did not attend my still birth daughter's funeral and made me do it all alone. I knew then that I was done.

I need to move on

CaseBasket · 30/12/2023 18:59

I'd become the mother figure doing every little thing, making all the decisions, and was no longer attracted as there was ' masculinity' ( this is my personal opinion/experience) and eventually got to fantasising about other men and coveting their attention. Fantasies about living alone etc
When this happened I knew I was done and called it a day.

Original poster

Cartrucktractor · 30/12/2023 19:01

solange10 · 30/12/2023 18:56

Emm for me I have been in a marriage where I know I should not be in. 15 years together and 10 years married and I have no feelings for him anymore. This started when he did not attend my still birth daughter's funeral and made me do it all alone. I knew then that I was done.

I need to move on

Show quote history

God that's awful. I'm sorry you suffered this and glad you moved on

OP posts:

Original poster

Cartrucktractor · 30/12/2023 19:02

CaseBasket · 30/12/2023 18:59

I'd become the mother figure doing every little thing, making all the decisions, and was no longer attracted as there was ' masculinity' ( this is my personal opinion/experience) and eventually got to fantasising about other men and coveting their attention. Fantasies about living alone etc
When this happened I knew I was done and called it a day.

This is sort of how I feel.... Wondering how life could be alone or with someone else. It's hard to know whether I love him or if it's the ghost of love

OP posts:

duende · 30/12/2023 19:05

CaseBasket, this is exactly how I feel :(
Plus he can be moody and sulk which makes me anxious and stressed.

Do you have kids with your ex? Are you glad you split up?

Tillybud81 · 30/12/2023 21:11

Not married but LTR, I knew I was struggling with it when I no longer wanted to even try to be intimate with him and I kept thinking about being on my own. I was even googling flats. Was sick of making every decision in our lives.
But I KNEW I was done when I found myself attracted to another man for the first time in over 10 years and I didn't feel shame (nothing happened fyi)

pockledigg · 31/12/2023 08:33

After many years together everything he did irritated me. I was full of distain. I was willing him to find someone else and end it, so I didn't have to (he didn't and I did).
He ate apples like a camel, all crunching and slurping. It enraged me, I probably found it endearing in the early stages of our relationship.
I ended it a few years ago and we are on really good terms now, we speak several times a week (no children).

Nogooddeed7 · 31/12/2023 13:13

Everything he did pissed me off. Literally everything. I didn’t feel heard or valued. We are still friends. It was definitely the right choice for me.

CaseBasket · 01/01/2024 09:30

@duende sorry for the late reply.
No we didn't have children. We were together for 9 years and eventually moved in together- we rented a studio flat and it was the worst thing for us both. We lived very differently and out of sync with each other and it just topped off how I felt. I was suddenly responsible for everything household too and I was done.

Honestly? Didn't regret it one bit.

I can however understand ( now I do have a child) why leaving would be extremely hard.

topgirlalways · 01/01/2024 10:18

Currently waiting to move out March can’t come quick enough as I bought my own house. Only dated for 2 years lived together 6 months as a trial at his and if worked buy together. Dating phase He was always up for going out and doing things. Felt loved and secure we chatted lots and he was always cooking for me at his. made me feel a priority

But I Moved in to his and I do everything whilst he sits in his pants playing computer games or goes to pub. He says this is what he did when he wasn’t with me. Realised I had a snap shot of his hood parts.

We discussed sharing chores. His comments are I pay the bills you do domestic stuff. lost respect there. Realised recently whenever we were apart overnight didn’t miss him. Slept in spare room as he had flu and loved it. Never moved back into his room. Now waiting to move out. We both know I have ended it, just being nice to each other till the end.

Specialized101 · 01/01/2024 10:25

For me it was her behavoir the day after my Mum died-GF`s narcissistic traits meant that she made it all about her although shed never met my Mum,threatened suicide etc to bring the spotlight back onto her.
I could never forgive her for that

Whatineed · 01/01/2024 10:36

When I would sit in the living room on the opposite sofa while he was glued to his phone, and look around the room mentally dividing up who bought what, and cashing up what I'd have to spend to replace the things he'd take with him.