Need help to move on from a relationship.

[Taleas0ldastime]

My 6 month relationship ended 3 days ago and I'm really struggling. I hate this about myself, I do really well in other areas of my life but then when my relationships end its like i just fall apart. Its ridiculous how low my mood gets and i struggle to do the most basic of tasks. I have a good job which i have been successful in but I'm finding it really hard to concentrate.

I don't fully understand why she ended the relationship which is making things harder, only last week she was talking about moving in together next year and we had met each others families. I know it does get easier, i need to start with no contact, we've still been texting which isn't helping. We haven't today and i need to keep it that way. I just feel sick and sad and trying not to show it in front of dcs.

Oh Op, I am sorry to read this. Sometimes when a relationship changes status, like moving in together, that can often bring things to a head. We all feel like this when relationships end. It is a grieving process. Be kind to yourself, you know yourself it will pass and you will be ok. What is meant for you will not pass you.

I hate this about myself, I do really well in other areas of my life but then when my relationships end its like i just fall apart. Its ridiculous how low my mood gets

You could be a bit nicer to yourself. You're allowed to feel shitty, you know. You're allowed to barely function for a bit. It's hard to be in your position. It won't help you to be so unsympathetic towards yourself.

What would make you feel better? Screaming? Chocolate? Writing it all down? Talking about it? Going out without your phone? Stop giving yourself hell, work out what would help you, and do that. You're not going to be broken about this forever, and you, and most others have been where you are before. It feels hideous, and then it starts to get better.

Aw you need to be extra kind to yourself. Sorry you having rubbish time. Most of us been there. It’s awful. Just way it is during relationships and break ups that emotions can be rollercoaster at times…the lows can be very low so don’t hate yourself for just being (and feeling!) human… much as we might like to think they can… often reason/logic don’t come into it as at end of day how you feel is just how you feel. Go with it. Be extra kind to yourself… and breathe.

You might patch it up. You might not. Mean time keep yourself busy and going no contact a great plan. Leave your phone where you aren’t tempted to check it. If it really is over you keep your dignity/grace. If it isn’t you’ve given them time and space and chance to miss you/repair things.

Thank you for the kind words. I just feel like it shouldn't be this hard to move on from a relatively short relationship. Especially when the other person seems to have got over it so quickly. I dont like feeling so completely out of control of my feelings.

I just feel like it shouldn't be this hard

There are no shoulds. It's like talking about what the weather 'should' be doing; it just does what it wants.

Relationships call upon lots of stuff within us... all the early stuff, the conditioning, the past hurts... the length of the relationship isn't really relevant, because it might have touched upon emotional patterns you learned when you were little, so it goes waaaay back, for you.

Let yourself off the hook.

We only see what others present as, not how they actually feel, they might not align. In any case, if she wasn't feeling great it doesn't change how you're feeling

What Watchkey said. Step one is accepting how you feel is how it is, and that it's okay. Your enthusiasm for getting on with your life with grow back.

It might work to try and do a little more of your usual stuff each day. If you do that, be kind to yourself if you don't follow thru on anything, it just means you weren't ready & try again next day