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Relationships

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Original poster

Blocked but want to reconnect

17 replies

Catlover1705 · 30/12/2023 07:42

A really good friend blocked me on social media 2 years ago. I had a health issue at the time which is now resolved but it was all consuming and I neglected her. We work for the same company but in different locations so our paths never cross. I want to reconnect somehow but thinking if I'm still blocked, she has probably moved on so I should just leave it but I really miss her.

OP posts:

LikeIDontExist · 30/12/2023 07:45

I live in fear of the friend I blocked trying to reconnect or, even worse, bumping into them face to face.
I’m sorry you miss her but you need to leave it, she’s moved on.

Rosiesmummy17 · 30/12/2023 07:59

Can’t advise but I know what you mean !
i have experienced from both sides.

i really miss a friend from years ago- we drifted apart and then I tried to reconnect; I apologised for my part in the drifting and she read and ignored my message. I still really miss her but respect that she moved on from our friendship.

i had another friend at uni who entered a controlling relationship and was pulled away from her friends. She messaged me apologising about 3 years ago (after 10 years of NC) and I was over the moon to hear from her and so glad she reached back out.

so it could go one of 2 ways but I’d say you have nothing to lose !!

Hiddenvoice · 30/12/2023 07:59

I’m sorry it hasn’t worked out for your friendship and that you miss her but personally I would leave her be.
If you somehow bump into each other one day then I’d smile, say hello and be friendly but sorry to say, she’s cut contact for her reasons so I wouldn’t push it.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 30/12/2023 08:34

I've blocked people before and, if it gets to the stage of me blocking them, personally there is no going back. I don't want to hear from them as the relationship in my opinion is unrepairable.

ChanelNo19EDT · 30/12/2023 08:38

I blocked a friend about 6 years ago.
I regret it now.
I'd like if she got back in touch. I'd apologise. At the time I was unable to communicate that she was overwhelming me after I started a new job.

Thecatthatgotthesouredmilk · 30/12/2023 08:40

ChanelNo19EDT · 30/12/2023 08:38

@ChanelNo19EDT I would say the ball is I your court, contact wise.

nightsky69 · 30/12/2023 08:44

Is this platonic? If you were once close enough that you miss them now, why not simply email, explain your illness and former preoccupation and suggest a coffee - making it clear it's nothing heavy just it'd be nice to catch up? Yes, you stand the chance and humiliation of being ignored, but maybe they also miss your friendship and it's just case that someone needs to make the first move. We're tribal beings - a good friendship lost seems a shame if unnecessary! Worth a little go I'd say... but don't pester!

Jf20 · 30/12/2023 08:45

Blocking is quite extreme. Is there more to this? As people drift apart, but they don’t usually block unless there is more to it.

ChanelNo19EDT · 30/12/2023 08:47

I wont because I owed her more than just cutting her off. I would apologise if I saw her by chance. Not to make me feel better I know I lost a clever, funny friend due to my inability to communicate that she had more free time than I did and I couldn't respond quickly we had been two single parents who hit it off. Then I got a ft job.i had 2 dc as well. I needed to give my young dc my free time and she didn't seem to get how tied up my schedule was.

It was my loss though. I was overwhelmed. I panicked. I was a terrible communicator.

category12 · 30/12/2023 08:48

I don't agree with trying to get around someone's blocks. You need to respect that decision.

If she went so far as to cut you out like that, then it's done from her point of view. Friendships that drift are one thing, but getting blocked is an ending.

SouthEastCoast · 30/12/2023 09:33

Recently I reconnected with a friend I blocked and who I miss but it turned out that she is still living a very destructive lifestyle and probably and alcoholic so I wasn’t sad when she blocked me this time.

saying that, I am all for sending a message just to check in, the worst that can happen really is that she ignores it.

LondonGrey · 30/12/2023 11:03

Surely she didn’t block you because you were unwell?

Original poster

Catlover1705 · 30/12/2023 11:27

She's quite needy and impulsive but kind and generous. I kept my health problem to myself really as didn't want to talk about it, pandemic didn't help. We haven't bumped into each other but live close by so maybe one day fate will take a turn.

OP posts:

LuckyLinda3 · 30/12/2023 12:43

Fair play @ChanelNo19EDT for being able to look at the big picture now and take responsibility for your part.

Catlovertoo · 30/12/2023 13:31

A work friend ghosted me for a year a few years back then she got in touch at Christmas time. I did reply and she hoped things got back to normal but she never apologised. I ended up blocking her roughly 2 years ago because I keep forgetting why people wronged me and I don’t want to put myself through the experience again.
OP, I so could be your friend … :) but if I ever considered to reconnect now, I’d only do it after a first message that comes with a sincere apology, not some bs that makes them look a bit better.
I still think about my friend most days,maybe your friend is thinking about you too. If you want to reconnect, your first step should be an apology and an explanation, not some random text/email to test the waters.

Unicorntastic · 30/12/2023 13:35

Do you have her address? Could you send her a New Years card, r a Christmas card (she will assume it was delayed in the post)?
you might have gone past the point of no return though after this amount of time.

Catlovertoo · 30/12/2023 13:38

There’s always internal mail🐾

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