Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How did you ask if he was cheating?

31 replies

youuuin · 29/12/2023 12:14

I have my suspicions that DP has done something - nothing concrete, just a few odd things and a bit of a gut feeling. I want to broach the subject but don't know how to go about it really, we have a good relationship and nothing like this (that I know of) has happened in the past, so I don't want to go straight in with a 'are you cheating on me?' accusation. How have you asked in the past - is there a more gentle/less confrontational way where I can get the answers I need but not accuse?

OP posts:
jadey1991 · 29/12/2023 18:29

youuuin · 29/12/2023 12:31

Thank you, just general strange behaviour hiding his phone, being a bit distant, didn't make much effort for Christmas etc. I did snoop (I know it's wrong) and found he had deleted messages from a woman he works with, but I can't confront him about that without admitting I had a nosey.

Show quote history

If i was in your position I would say it out right. Don't hold back. Doesn't matter if u was snooping. U have a gut feeling so u went with your gut.
However I would say always trust your gut feeling its never wrong. Hope you feel better soon op. X

Original poster
youuuin · 29/12/2023 19:50

category12 · 29/12/2023 16:20

Has there been a works Christmas do or something like that, which might match up with when he's started deleting her messages?

Show quote history

There was a work Christmas do last week but the messages had been deleted the week before by the looks of things. The messages since had been solely about work as far as I could see, so very confusing.

Ahh I just don’t know what to do, I’ll ask tonight if there is anything on his mind and go from there based on what he says.

OP posts:
newcusions · 29/12/2023 20:03

I often delete messages especially work messages, mainly so when I want to send a message I can go to recent and see people I usually message.
I am not cheating and would be horrified if A. My husband read my private messages, not because I have anything to hide but it's private messages and B. accused me of cheating for organising my phone.

Bex9434 · 29/12/2023 20:15

Like PP, I also regularly clear WhatsApp chats to free up space. Did it seem like he'd deleted individual messages or just cleared the whole chat up until a recent date? Guess it is odd though if hers is the only chat he has cleared.

EVliving · 29/12/2023 20:20

I caught my ex using LinkedIn chat for messaging the other party. It hadn't been deleted as they thought it was a safe way to fool around. Only saw the messages because they fell asleep with phone still open half way through a message.

Meme54 · 05/01/2024 16:20

@youuuin

How are things ?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page