Is this a sign it’s done

[Sarah297]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years…over the past few months I’ve been feeling really irritated in his company, craving time on my own…do you think this is a sign that I don’t feel the same anymore

@Sarah297

You’ll know if you’re done you won’t want him near you

Sounds like it's over.

Sounds like it.

It doesn't sound great. That's not how you should feel onns healthy and loving relationship and definitely not after just a couple of years. Find someone who you feel more positive around.

i can’t work out if it’s how I’m feeling in myself overall or is it the relationship however I just feel happier when im in my own company

2 good "tests":

1. When something happens - good or bad - do you want to tell him asap?

1. Of you haven't seen.him.for a while, when you do, do you find yourself smiling?

Wanting alone time is perfectly reasonable. But if you don't ever want him around, it's probably not going anywhere.

Why do you feel happier? Can you not be yourself with him there? Does he irritate you or make you cringe?

Oh gosh you know for the first question I think he’s not the first person I think of to tell, he’s a very stressy person so if it’s anything bad I just don’t really say anything, if it’s good I will share it with him but he’s not the first person that comes to mind

I feel sort of flat in his company now, he has his own house and I have mine and he’s been spending more and more time at mine, and I just feel suffocated

I feel kind of free when I’m on my own, I’m just thinking that maybe I shouldn’t be in a relationship at all and just work on getting my spark back

I feel irritated, sometimes due to my job I like to just stick a film on and zone out so a bit quiet and then get asked a million times if somethings the matter even when I’ve explained I’m just chilling enjoying the film and quiet cause of work etc

He isn't the right person for you. Better to end it gently now rather than end up screaming and throwing something!

he has his own house and I have mine and he’s been spending more and more time at mine, and I just feel suffocated

Have you talked to him about this? What did he say? Or, if you haven't, what stops you?

He takes it so badly and personally if I say I would like some time by myself, he’s got some lovely qualities and is a really nice guy I just think maybe we are not the best fit, if I feel like this then I don’t see how the relationship would progress like living together etc

He takes it so badly and personally if I say I would like some time by myself

Have you had any discussions about this or is that it: he's offended, conversation over?

i try to have the conversation and explain but he kind of throws his toys out the pram and says something like “well this clearly isn’t working so let’s just end it” so I just say yes I agree and then he backtracks and we just go round in circles

Oh god, right. Well, you're not compatible then. You need time alone, and he thinks that means it's over. So, if it's over for one of you, it's over.

Why let him backtrack? Why is he in charge of the stopping and starting? If someone says it's over, they don't get to come back.

He huffily went out today as I said I want to get the house sorted and then maybe go see a friend, he has invited me over to his house tonight but I think I might just say I’m going to chill at mine, I’ve really enjoyed the hours I’ve had today and just want to have a nice bath and get pjs on etc

i think he said it because he felt hurt,I find it extremely immature to not be able to have an adult discussion so that’s why I’m also thinking this isn’t the person for me

Do what you want. A compatible partner will love you for it.

There comes a time in every woman's life when she can't stand her partner...

This is the way.

Tosh

It sounds like your relationship is at it's close, which is fine it's not a failing on either of your parts. You wouldn't be posting on here if you didn't have doubts. I would say trust your gut.

You're not married, you don't have kids (or that's how it reads? Please correct me if not), and you have your own places to live. That makes life really simple.

The nest bit, breaking up, is hard. I think, based on his 'throwing his toys out of the pram' you need to take the lead here, state your position clearly and directly and then stick with that. No breaks, no time to think. Just I'm sorry but this isn't working for me, I wish you all the best.

It's going to be hard, 2 years is no short amount of time, but if things continue any longer anger and resentment will build up, and that'ss a ticking time bomb.

Wishing you all the best and good luck.

Honestly, this relationship is clearly not right for you. Just end it now. Your boundaries are being pushed - he wants more time and more of you and you don't want to give it and it's only going to get worse. The next thing you know, he'll move in and then be all snippy because you want a night out with friends.

Get out now while you still can. It's perfectly okay to end a relationship because it's just not working for you, particularly when you don't have shared commitments, kids etc.

Update…I ended it, and the names he called me just confirms I did the right thing

Well done on ending it, I'm sorry he didn't take it well.

Totally agree with you, that confirms you did the right thing. Time to block and delete his number.

Good luck moving forward, you sound like you've got your head screwed on, all the best for the future x