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Original poster

Boyfriend messaged a girl on instagram

19 replies

TheAnimator999 · 28/12/2023 23:11

For context if anyone reading doesn’t have instagram, you can upload a story and insert a question box, and people can add their answer, like when people say “good restaurant recommendations?” And you answer through the box - not the same as a DM.

anyways, just wanted a bit of advice as I don’t know if I’m over reacting; my BF of 2 years responded to a very loose old friend’s question story on instagram with “YES HOTTIE” - the story wasn’t visible anymore and he said he couldn’t remember what it even was, this was a week ago but I only saw it today on his phone. I asked why he said that and what would constitute that response and He laughed and said ‘sorry that probably looks so much worse than it is, it’s an old inside joke from a mutual friend group we were in’. I said that it seemed like a weird thing to say, especially in all capitals, and he reassured me that he wouldn’t be creepy enough to send a message that forward if he were trying to hit on her in any way - which I do think is true, it’s a bizarre message which looks really weird unless it was a legitimate joke. He said it was a light hearted joke, he didn’t DM her for an actual conversation it was just a (what he thought) funny and witty response to her story question. I don’t think he would try and hit on anyone, he’s very committed and very open with his phone, and his reaction was very calm he didn’t get defensive or angry, but in the back of my mind I just keep thinking why ‘hottie’.

sorry for the ramble just wanted to know if I’m over reacting in being bothered by this, I really hate to think he’d be one of those sleezebags who message girls behind their girlfriends back ….

OP posts:
justalittlesnoel · 28/12/2023 23:14

Well he's explained why hottie, why he said what he said and that it's a bit of an old joke.

Of course I'm wondering why you're actively checking his Instagram on his phone? Odd thing to do unless you've got a reason to or similar? I often use my partners phone if I can't find mine to google something or similar, but I've never checked his social media?

Did she message anything back?

Tbh if he was trying to send a sleazy message on Instagram and that was his effort I think you're safe from anything tbh!

Wooloohooloo · 28/12/2023 23:14

What was the question he answered and what was the "joke"? Sounds odd out of context.

Hiddenvoice · 28/12/2023 23:15

I understand why you’re bothered but if he hasn’t messaged her directly and there’s no other communication between them then I’d assume what he’s saying is true.

Id maybe just keep an eye on it though, do you have any reason to not trust him.

Original poster
TheAnimator999 · 28/12/2023 23:21

I

OP posts:
Original poster
TheAnimator999 · 28/12/2023 23:22

Wooloohooloo · 28/12/2023 23:14

What was the question he answered and what was the "joke"? Sounds odd out of context.

asked but he said he can’t remember as it was a week ago and would’ve just been a story he was flicking through along with a load of others. Pretty convenient answer but tbh his memory is dreadful in general

OP posts:
lucya66 · 28/12/2023 23:23

I’d be inclined to believe him from his reaction.

Original poster
TheAnimator999 · 28/12/2023 23:24

justalittlesnoel · 28/12/2023 23:14

Well he's explained why hottie, why he said what he said and that it's a bit of an old joke.

Of course I'm wondering why you're actively checking his Instagram on his phone? Odd thing to do unless you've got a reason to or similar? I often use my partners phone if I can't find mine to google something or similar, but I've never checked his social media?

Did she message anything back?

Tbh if he was trying to send a sleazy message on Instagram and that was his effort I think you're safe from anything tbh!

I saw it on his screen whilst he was on insta and had his DMs open - don’t worry I didn’t go through his phone lol, I’ve not had a reason not to trust him which is why this has thrown me a bit and idk if this is over reacting.

no she never responded and they hadn’t spoken before on insta either.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheAnimator999 · 28/12/2023 23:25

lucya66 · 28/12/2023 23:23

I’d be inclined to believe him from his reaction.

Yeah he literally laughed it off like ‘don’t be silly’

OP posts:
PastorCarrBonarra · 28/12/2023 23:26

I think he’s being truthful, that’s my instinct anyway.

MrsElsa · 28/12/2023 23:27

Did you read all his messages or just that one?

It would be weirder he did it just the once!

Original poster
TheAnimator999 · 28/12/2023 23:29

MrsElsa · 28/12/2023 23:27

Did you read all his messages or just that one?

It would be weirder he did it just the once!

I didn’t see any other messages but tbh I didn’t thoroughly look, it’s his phone and I didn’t want to fully invade his privacy if it was infact just an inside joke

OP posts:
Original poster
TheAnimator999 · 28/12/2023 23:30

PastorCarrBonarra · 28/12/2023 23:26

I think he’s being truthful, that’s my instinct anyway.

Love your user name! 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
TheAnimator999 · 28/12/2023 23:33

Hiddenvoice · 28/12/2023 23:15

I understand why you’re bothered but if he hasn’t messaged her directly and there’s no other communication between them then I’d assume what he’s saying is true.

Id maybe just keep an eye on it though, do you have any reason to not trust him.

No I don’t have any other reason not to trust him, he’s super open with his phone and I do feel in my gut he’s a good guy. I guess this just took me by surprise :/

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 28/12/2023 23:37

What’s the “old inside joke”? He obviously remembers that bit.

Original poster
TheAnimator999 · 28/12/2023 23:39

HeddaGarbled · 28/12/2023 23:37

What’s the “old inside joke”? He obviously remembers that bit.

It was a joking way of encouraging, he said they’d say it like ‘yesss hottie’ and stupid stuff like ‘yas queen’ just taking the piss basically

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 28/12/2023 23:54

Ok, that does sound plausible.

Indifferentchickenwings · 29/12/2023 00:24

Honestly this is why social media is such a total total head fuck
you get more insight into the person you are dating than is necessary

it could be totally nothing
it could be inappropriate and also nothing
it could be inappropriate and something

I’d say if someone is a sleaze you can tell ?

elena415 · 01/09/2024 05:00

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Edingril · 01/09/2024 05:24

If you run your relationship by social media you will be disappointed

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