Has anyone had a baby with the wrong (nice) person and ended up happy?

[Mariposa85]

I’m engaged to a nice man. We were together just before the pandemic and I think the state of the world during the lockdowns etc made me overlook my real feelings and spending all that time together just the two of us made me think he was the right person. Due to various factors - age at the end of the lockdowns, health issues, we cracked on with having a baby who is 8 months old.
He is a great dad and supportive partner. However, I am just not in love with him. I am not sure we will ever have sex again, the thought of it makes me feel like I’d be sleeping with a friend. I would definitely do it if he was up for it, but he doesn’t seem to be. I’ve raised it and he just says he doesn’t feel like sex is the most important part of a relationship. I totally appreciate that, but at 34 do I just accept this is it? He also wasn’t really into it before the baby was here, although we did it a lot when we first got together.
I know I’m incredibly lucky to have a supportive partner, although there are things such as me being the main breadwinner by a long way (as well as the default parent) which play on my mind. It’s a lot of pressure on me. I don’t want to break up my family and want him and my baby to be happy, but as the days go on I just feel sad that this is all I have to look forward to. He is not a bad person so I feel awful about this and how it’s ended up.
Has anyone been in this situation and made it better? Can I fall in love with him somehow?

I should add I’ve tried to talk to him about all of this and how I feel, and he just says things will get better.

Dealbreaker for me. You're 34. Don't settle for this.

You'll develop feelings for someone else further down the line. Happened to me. Similar situation.

Hey I’m 30 with 2 young children:
been married 7 years we have had lots of ups and downs. I feel my husband was so happy and laid back when we first met, now he is miserable, snappy. One minute he’s chilled funny, next he is negative.
we split a few years back due to him being aggressive towards me when he was drunk on a night out. We split for 9 months. He stopped drinking and completely changed his life. Now the past 12-18 months he has started drinking again not a lot just a bottle of wine on a Friday night. Couple of pints here and there but I feel like I resent it - why give up for that long then start again! He works so hard , helps around the house. I’m a SAHM. But I would defiantly say I’m more nurturing and hands on with the children he’s quite strict and no patience. Anyway I feel like he’s only happy when it’s us and the kids. He isn’t very social anymore. Everyone annoys him or he has something to say about everyone. The neighbours; people at work. My family - he ** like no other..
we went out with my brother and his partner Boxing Day my brother is so funny he’s laid back jack the lad. And ever since then he’s had digs like “you love your brother more than me” “you laugh at him more than me” I find it cringey. He can talk to me like * sometimes too . Hands up sometimes I can start an argument when it’s the time of the month but he doesn’t think twice about calling me a “dkhead” in front of the kids….
then constantly digging about lack of sex or lack of intimacy. We have it at least once a week and that’s only to stop him pestering me.
im in such a rut I really don’t know what to do or where to turn. I know I hold a lot of resentment from the first time we broke up but now that’s he’s slipped back into the same rut I feel I can’t take it anymore. He says I’m too nice. A push over. If I speak to the neighbours or out he says I’m a “lick **” I feel i can’t even be myself anymore! :(but

@Booshbishpa I think you might need to start your own thread?

To the op yea I absolutely had children with a man who I thought would be good. He was. My ovaries were screaming at me and we had 2 awesome children. Got divorced and then married the love of my life.

I am happier now than ever. It wasn't easy and I don't feel good about divorcing but I can't regret him as I have brilliant children.

It's 2023. Mistakes are made but we don't have to live out our lives to save face/keep the family together

Leave sooner rather than later - much less traumatic for your son if you do it when he's tiny.