Knowing if the breakup was right

[Happyhun08]

Me and my boyfriend broke up mutually because of his mental health declining, I was always there to support him but he he wasn't treating me well due to that and I gave him a warning and he continued so I had to break up with him to respect myself even though I loved him. Its been a month and I still miss him so much, I feel bad I couldn't of been there for him more and leaving him at his worst and the breakup just feels wrong. But I don't know if his place to contact me first as he did me wrong.

As someone who recently got dumped for having bad mental health I honestly wish he had supported me but I am slowly coming to the realisation that if you cannot be there for someone at their worst you do not deserve them at their best. I am not saying that to make you feel bad but if it got so bad you walked away when he was most vulnerable then maybe leave him be.

Oh I didn't leave him because of his mental health, I would of been there to support him fully, but he started being quite mean to me and disrespectful :\ And I'm sorry that happened! you don't deserve that.

OP I left someone because of their mental health - years ago.

Like you, I had essentially become the whipping boy - every bad mood was taken out on me. I couldn't do anything right. I was an absolute shell of a person from supporting him above myself every single time. It only ever got worse.

I am on speaking terms with him now and even he admits that me sticking around enabled him.
I picked up the pieces, I made the money, I made plans, I still loved him when he was being a shit. If I'd stayed it would never have gotten better for me, or for him in fact. We both would've stayed utterly miserable.

He's brilliant now - has moved on, has a lovely partner and a good job. Me leaving when I did, whilst in the short term likely felt awful (and I felt like a piece of crap for it), was arguably the best thing I did for him. And for me. I do still miss the 'good' in him sometimes in a reminiscent sort of way, but I don't ever regret leaving because it was the only thing I could do.

So don't feel bad. A severely depressed person can't often be a good partner, and tbh he likely needs to be on his own just now.