Breaking a trauma bond

[newstart2022]

I have been in a relationship with a narcissist for several years.
i have kids with a previous partner and don’t live with this guy.
i seem to gather the strength to leave and end it and then we have a great night out , spend a wonderful evening and the old feelings rush back.
and before I know it I am obsessing over him. I worry about what he is up to etc.
previously he had been sending explicit videos of himself to other women(I think )
now I worry about his every move. To the point I obsess about whether he is running with one of his female friends, I am at. Breaking point.

@thecatsarecrazy
it’s just horrible.
dont understand it at all

You answered your own question in your original post.

Read it back as if it had been written by someone else. You will find yourself asking “WHAT exactly is drawing this woman back to this man? It doesn’t make sense.”

@Minglingpringle
true
i just needed some clarity and some sensible thinking.
i appreciate the advice on here :)

newstart2022

i hear you
I feel like I’m my life is successful other than romantically

but after a 22 year shit show I then ended up in a 2 year shit show , which has ended but for some reason this Xmas I’ve reverted and I’ve been totally angrily obsessing about him what feels like 24/7
and I can’t get him out of my head and I’ve turned him into something he isn’t
I don’t understand why someone who treated me so poorly is in my head so fucking much

I know I’m better of without him
but tell my brain that !

ill restart therapy in the new year

im Sorry you have this
and I’m going to read up on the very helpful links you sent