Is DH ok?

[Sunshine2024]

I'm worried about DH, he's very busy and stressed at work and caring for an elderly family member. Home life is calm, no arguments but we haven't had sex in over 2 years and if I approach him in that way he freezes and says his head isn't in the right place. He moved to the spare room last March and seems to panic if I go to cuddle or kiss him. No signs of cheating or anything like that, he just seems really closed off. Any thoughts?

Could he be depressed? Depression can make people feel unlovable and therefore push people away.
Have you tried talking to him?

Sounds depressed

Do you have kids? - as in, he is capable right?

Sorry to hear this :(

Speaking personally when I've behaved like that (I'm female) it's because I didn't want to end the relationship because I loved the person and enjoyed living with them but I also didn't want to have sex with them as that side of it was done for me, for good.

I would suggest counselling and I believe 'Relate' deal with this type of issue a lot.

Of course, it could be something else. Only he truly knows and can tell you.

We've been together years and years and have a teenage child, he's a pretty perfect father and husband apart from this. We did talk and he won't see a Dr or join counselling so I did Relate on my own. They seemed to think he is totally overwhelmed and it's not all about me. I'm being really supportive and encouraging him to spend time with his close friends and generally make home life as calm and stress free as possible. I really love him but not sure what else I can do?

What you can't do is let it carry on much longer OP. It's not healthy for either of you.

2 years without any intimacy! How did it take you this long to ask for help? I wonder if you must be depressed yourself, or very stuck too to have passively accepted such difficult situation. It sounds extremely tough for him and you.
He seems in a very depressed and stuck place... I've been there but never so bad as not wanting to engage with my wife physically in any way. You REALLY need to talk about what the hell is going on and get him to be honest and talk until he has it all out. Lovingly tell him that being stressed etc doesn't quite explain whats looks to be severe clinical depression (possible secretive suicidal thoughts) and shut down.

When I got there the only thing that helped was divorce, psychedelics, therapy and a lot of suffering and ongoing hard work.

He might be better off seeing a doctor for a prescription first as even therapy is not necessarily good until he might have levelled out a bit. Do something now for his and your sake.