Changed some minor details on this as outing.
Been with DH for over 15 years, two DC together. In our youth we hung out a lot with all of our friends, but as we had DC and were able to go out less his friends drifted away. Mine are still close, celebrate our birthdays with us, see eachother at Christmas etc. He's part of a group chat with his friends but doesn't see them regularly. I haven't seen or spoken to any of them for years.
Some of the wider group were pretty mean to me at various points during our relationship. One woman hated the fact we were together and was outright rude or blanked me every time we went out as a group. I have a very obvious physical characteristic and another friend spent all his time talking about how hideous people with this characteristic are and proudly saying how he'd got a person to leave work by constantly taking the piss out of him for it.
DH still sees them at parties they arrange, nights out etc. I guess there would be no issue with me going along but I don't particularly want to, plus we'd have to pay for a babysitter so I generally don't given I'm not particularly close to / actively dislike some of them.
DH has just asked me if I'd like to go and see a band I like in the new year. He never organises anything like this so I was excited about it, but then I twigged it was something his friends we're organising and we'd be going with them. I said I didn't want to go with them and I'd thought it was a nice night out he was suggesting for us rather than going with his mates. I am more than happy for him to go.
He got really stroppy and said I was awful for being mean and should have just said no thank you. We have this argument pretty frequently, he wants me to come along to some event with his friends, I say no and I'm terrible. He thinks he's arranging a nice night out for us, I think he's wanting me to tag along on a night out with his mates.
Should I suck it up and go along? I'm pretty tough, I'm not going to be emotionally scarred if they're bastards again and there are some nice ones.