Better off alone or together?

[hunnyandginger]

I have a very selfish partner, and we're married, have one DC 5. We live as if we're separated but under the same roof. I can't claim any support, even with my minimal income, because his income is higher. Would I be better off divorcing, or should I continue as things are? I'm staying together mainly because I can't afford to move out.

In what ways do you live as if separated? I'm some instances I think you can claim as if single as long as you can show you're buying your own food shops sleeping separate ect. Why can't he leave ?

Yes we do buy our own food but how would you prove that it's only your food?
He goes on holidays, buys things for his hobbies etc coz he can afford. I can't afford any of those

In all honesty I'm not sure how but a freind of mine had to do it because of financial abuse contact dwp. You should also be able to get some help to set up a new home. Have you separated officially? Because if not yours also rings of financial abuse ?

You can claim benefits if you are living with a former partner or spouse, but separated or divorcing. It can be hard for separating people to find another home right away. You should check your entitlement to universal credit etc using the entitled-to website, and then you could start making a plan to leave if you wanted. If he agrees to divorce and child-access arrangements, you can file the papers on the court yourself and without the need to involve solicitors. However, if there are any marital assets to divide then you should definitely seek legal help. If you cannot afford to pay for legal advice, look up lawworks, and legal aid and similar schemes. To get legal aid for a divorce, there needs to be evidence of specific events such as domestic abuse, or you being at risk of homelessness. Financial control falls under domestic abuse for legal aid purposes btw, but whatever grounds are used need to be supported with evidence (a doctor report is one example). Women's aid maybe able to help you further with your plans to leave. As for the court fee for divorce, you should check if you are eligible for fee waiver or reduction on the basis of low income/ savings.

I just don't see what will change if I officially separate, I.e. divorce?
Can't afford to move out and don't see my financial situation changing in nearest future. I don't have any family here to rely for even temporary support.

If you're still living with your ex-partner

You should still report that you've split up - you should still be able to change to separate Universal Credit claims. You'll need to tell the DWP that you have 'separate households' even though you share an address.

Well if you're happy living there until you build up funds then of course that's more sensible. I'm not sure it works long term though but depends on your individual relationship I would say?

No, not happy and would like to move out.

But can't afford it

Thank you for your responses @scoobydoo1971 and @MistletoeandJd

Are you currently in bought or rented ?

Renting but from family. So he is paying it.

From his side

First step would probably be consult a solicitor many offer a 30 minute chat for free to let you know where you stand. Then run an entitled to check to see where you would stand now and if living alone but la can help with like house deposit and first month rent

Honestly feel like breaking down everyday, my toddler of 2.5 years drives me insane with daily tantrums and I absolutely hate it. I feel at my witts end some days wanting to run away, thoughts of not wanting to be a parent anymore, feeling regret. She won't stop screaming at me when she's in her buggy and dictates my every move. I hate myself for feeling like this.

Boundaries even at this young age

Solicitor advice, you should get a proportion of assets, plus child maintenance, so yes you'd probably be better off divorcing. He's been whiley about the house though, given its owned by his family, you'd have no claim to that but you can go for his savings and pension.