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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

bfs complicated friendship with ex

27 replies

zebralady91 · 27/12/2023 15:50

my relationship with my bf is great except for his ex. He says she is her best friend but she is jealous so won't introduce me to her, though he tells me when he is going out for a drink with her, he has cancelled plans with me to make plans with her. He told her about us dating a few weeks into our relationship and he said she was upset and she said she didn't wish us well. He said that no man has lived up to him for her but he just see's her as a sister and feels bad for breaking up with her. They broke up a few years and became fast friends with no no contact period, but with periods of fighting, the most recent fight three months before we started dating. Trying to be accommodating and kind I said I would love to meet her and befriend her, especially as he said she was lonely and he was one of her only friends, and of courseI want to be pals with all of his, but he refuses to introduce her to me. she began watching all of my instagram stories on and off blocking me thinking I couldn't see. I got a job in her and his neighbourhood via a good friend of mine (small city) not far from my neighbourhood and he was mad at me, saying it would upset her if she saw me, which made me feel like I shouldn't exist and felt uncomfortable going to work and also to his flat which was nearby, then I quit to help save the our relationship. He says I am overreacting by being upset, am I? or is it a potential Charles and camilla situation?

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 29/12/2023 23:40

Er, leave him - this isn’t a best friend, it’s a woman with whom he is very much entangled

Kitkatcatflap · 13/10/2024 09:44

I think if he really cared for her in a platonic way he would leave her alone. Let her 'get over' him which she would in time with no contact. The fact that he keeps seeing her, tells her about your relationship even though it makes her jealous and upset says he is doing this for an ego boost.

And why tell you that no other man will do it for her - he is playing one off against the other. Seriously, get rid - a 40 year old man still living with his mum enjoying women getting upset and jealous is madness.

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