How to let ex go?

[ExDebate]

Very long story, we broke up 9 months ago, he got back with an ex from many years ago. For the past 3 months he has been contacting me saying he wants to come back. I have let him come back and he run off to the woman again. There is drug addiction involved, he wanted the help to give up. I have opened myself up again and now heartbroken even more. How do I get over him, particularly as we share DC together. I just don't know how to move on. I was doing fine until he came back saying he made mistake, missed us and missed our life. Now I'm back to square one. I have read books, I am in therapy and still don't know why I have a such a pull to him. Help

I wrote a very similar post last night on another board. Different circumstances but same question - why can I not move on from ex? I honestly think it's likely because we are caring people that have been taken advantage of and because separation/breakups are part of a grief type process so it can just be hard to move to next phase!
Do you still have any regular contact with him? Does he see the DC? Can you maybe grey rock him?
And then start adding some fun things in your day for just you and your DCs. Start focusing on you and actively push away the thoughts of him and OW when they pop up.
You are better than this and really don't deserve to be treated like this. If he comes back for more addiction help, point him to a support group instead.
Sending hugs and strength!

Thanks I was doing just fine moving on until he came back saying he made a mistake. Now it feels like I'm heartbroken even more.

Maybe write a list of all the reasons why you are better off without him? Go back and refer to that when the sadness overcomes you. I should really do that too.
And then time....supposedly with time this gets easier! Good luck!

When a partner has an issue with addiction, the intermittent reinforcement (push/pull) behaviours create trauma bonds rather than loving bonds.
It isn't an easy process to break these bonds as the chemicals they produce in your brain causes a process of withdrawal.
You will get there, google some of the steps to follow to break these bonds eg low or no contact, live in the reality of your relationship with this man, not what you want it to be, transfer the love you have for him to yourself as an addict can never love you in the way you deserve.
Keep reminding yourself that you are ok and these feelings will pass.