Dh Buggered Off at 9am This Morning In A Mood, How Long Until I Start To Worry?

[magnolia74]

Our life has been really up and down and although it seems to have more good days than bad days I think its more because things get swept under the carpet

Nothing much happened but he woke up miserable and dd4 was a real pain in the arse this morning and he lost his rag with her (nothing major but enough to upset the whole house) Came downstairs broke the cupboard door! (ok it was starting to break already and he is just a bit heavy handed)
Then stormed out the house but left his phone here

Now its 6 hours later and no sign
So..... how long do I wait before thinking shit wonder if he's ok? Starting to worry a bit now but don't wanna do the whole Omg lets ring the hospitals ect... yet.

Sorry to hear this Magnolia, I was hoping things were on the up for you.

He is probably a little like my dh, needs to get out and blow those cobwebs in his mind away now and then. Before you know he will be back back and have dinner and a chat.
I hope.

Did he take the car? Bike, motorbike? Dogs?

Sounds like he badly needed some time alone. I get like that sometimes. It would be better if he planned it with you first, so you didn't have to worry though!

X-posts, Q!

He took the car.
Think I will text his sister and get her to check at their mums and brothers before panicking

how long does he usually sulk for?

Does he need his phone for work tomorrow? If so he'll beback tonight, and just needed to let off steam.

I can see how to you it looked like he stormed off - but to him it probably felt like he knew he was getting wound up and needed time to cool off instead of inflicting it on his family.

Not longer than and hour or so, only once did he bugger off on a drive to manchester from Surrey but that was 10 years ago and after a night shift when he had awful truble at work. Would like to think he wouldn't scare me like that ever again

chinchi, no he has a work phone in his lorry but no work clothes with him.
I can understand the wanting to get away but because I can't reach him not sure whether to worry that he's been gone so long.

Any joy with his sister?

He turned up about 4pm, barely said a word.

Lots of crap going on in our marraige right now so sure this isn't the end of it

this sounds rubbish - poor you . not easy living with somebody who can go off like that - and then the silent treatment.....great.

In his defense, the problesm with our marriage have been mainly my fault
It just seems to be so ongoing

Sweetheart, you have to make a stance, and stop letting him lay it all on you. There is a reason that situation came about, and he had part in that too. He has to get over it, be a grown up about it and stop behaving like a martyr. He is not. Right now he is damaging your marriage.

could you try counselling together?
Could you start going on your own, and maybe he would join you down the line?

Oh for gods sake now I am crying

He did contact relate but they insisted it is £40 per session even on a low income and we just can't afford it at the moment. Technically our income is not actually low but our outgoings (essential) are almost above income so no spare cash for the private ones I have seen either.

He is still so terribly hurt and I do understand that and it is better than it was a few weeks ago.
I just feel like we are playing happy families