I feel like I really need help… I’m 30 weeks pregnant with my second child. I feel like I have no one to talk to but feel like I’m going to go out of my mind.
I’ve been with my partner for 2 years – we’ve had very bad disagreements on and off – months of bliss and then arguments where I feel its impossible and I can’t cope…
It usually stems around my contact with my ex who Is the father of my first child.
Due to my child being ill we have been in more contact over the last few days ( he also works in medicine).I know I can’t give too much info out on here…. but this morning I was messaging with me ex about the illness.. I told my partner and he got annoyed and said he was going out.3 hours later he hadn’t come back and wasn’t replying to my messages and so I went out ….got back home and he was here and wanted to speak… he told me that its unacceptable the amount of contact I have with my ex, that we are in a co-dependent relationship, that he is sharing me with another man and its unacceptable…he said ‘its not normal and its not ok’.. he will live with it but now be indifferent from now on which he said is the worst place we can be. When I ask him what amount on contact is acceptable he said it’s too late for that now and ‘that ship has sailed’.
Then he said he was going to shower and then wants to ‘hang out like normal’ and when I said I can’t hang out and that I need space to think he said ‘its the worst thing I can do…’ because he feels like he is being abandoned.
This issue has been going on for a long time – sometimes it’s fine and he’s ok with it but other times it’s a huge issue and I can’t cope with it. We’ve been seeing a therapist for a while and sometimes its helpful and other times not.
I am at the moment solely reliant on him for money – I haven’t worked in a few months since my last contract ended. We are meant to be going away on holiday with my son next week and honestly I don’t know how I’m going to be able to be around him.. I know this sounds awful but I honestly hate him so much right now.. my whole family is away I have no idea what to do. It feels impossible to communicate him…. now I’m in the house again and I have promised I’ll speak with I’m again in an hour but I really, really don’t want to as I feel like it will turn into an argument again..
Has anyone else been in a situation like this? Im seeing me therapist tomorrow but at the moment I’m just trying to stay calm as I feel sick with worry about the future..