Here for praise

[MeOldeSainty666]

I feel like i deserve a medal. Im here to praise myself since no one irl will..
I invited narcissistic exh over for xmas eve dinner and xmas lunch today. For the dcs sake who wanted the whole family together. Managed to diffuse every argument he tried to start with with me or the dc. Dc said they had such a lovely time. Good vibes.

Prior to today, i cooked everything, got a real tree, chopped it myself with an axe to fit the base. Got dc and their friend to decorate it. Cleaned the whole house. Did all the advent calendar-stuff all december. Baked many times with dc and their friends leading up to this day. (I work full-time, dc live with me 80% of the time).

Looked after dc's driend yesterday by default, since his selfish dad 'popped out' for hours leaving this child in my care amidst my own xmas preparations. Did ask him to pick his dc up friendly but firm. Wished happy xmas. Did not rise to his attempt to blame me for my boundaries that he himself crossed.

Bought most presents. Bought all food. Dcs dad (exh) contributes nothing financially towards dc. Did not mention it. Not once. Let dc imagine the presents were from both of us.

Visited all family members who live nearby. Listened to their health-moans. Gave appropriate presents to all.

Cleaned, washed all dishes several times, managed outbursts caused by a gaslighting exh, did not loose my temper, and now sitting on my sofa feeling like congratulating myself. First christmas post-divorce, and probably the best ever. Sorry for the brag, I've grown so much this past year and feel really proud i'm able to be so mature. Happy, peaceful Christmas MN!! It feel amazing to rise above the shit 😄

You are amazing. I aspire to this

Gosh that sounds sarcastic but I really mean it!

🏅 for you! I feel the same having had a difficult year with divorce and teens with poor MH. For Christmas preparations I have done EVERYTHING. Just about to pull Christmas dinner out of the oven. Well done to all of us, be proud of yourself!

You've done brilliantly.

Do NOT invite him next year.

@48wheaties Well done lovely. Enjoy the meal 🥰

very well done! You should be foreign secretary with those diplomatic skills.

You're amazing OP.

I too am pretty great. I have my kids' father here 24-26th. He got drunk last night and was a horrid, stompy, mood ruining wanker. He upset my dad which is un-fucking-forgivable. He spent ages outside ranting at my best friend that I'm bleeding him dry and it's not fair I get to live in my big house while he rents a shared place. He doesn't pay a penny over the legally mandated amount and I owned property before him. Today he's had a face like a slapped arse. And yet, we are having a lovely day. My friends and family are here. He's sulking and no one is bearing witness 😂

@roarrfeckingroar Oh my, you are amazing!!!! Well done for rising above the shit and keeping the peace ❤️❤️

If a grumpy man is sulky and nobody bears witness, does the grumpy man even exist?

Fuck no.

Merry Christmas

Wow well done you!!

The difference you’ve made to how your children will view Christmas 💕💕💕

I just listened exh chat to a mutual friend on the phone (who has sided with ex). Exh bragged how he has spent the two days with his dc. They've had a great time, loads of presents, food, new PS game they've played together.. all true but no mention of this happening in my house or me being present at all.. No doubt he has been spinning a tale of me as an evil bitch, and admitting he has been invited to mine for dinner would expose the lie 😄

Hello there, @MeOldeSainty666 - we just wanted to say well done for getting through today! We're going to move this thread to Relationships now as that seems a better place for it but give us a nudge if you'd prefer that it went elsewhere. And merry Christmas to you.

This isn’t a trick question - I am completely genuine in asking why invite the ex for dinner etc? I’m in process of separating. Last Christmas in same house. Jesus it’s grim.
I can’t see myself wanting to repeat it

Wow you have done amazing job! You can be so proud of yourself!

@Verysad1978 everyone must do what they feel is best.
For me, i knew dc would not be able to enjoy their day without their dad. Im also a person who cares about other peoples emotions (to my own detriment admittedly) and exh has no other family in this country and would have been alone. I just couldnt do that to him even after what hes put me through.

I survived Ok. The dc had a huge meltdown at the end of the day actually and told me im the worst mum ever and dad is so much more fun to be with, but i know its not true. He alternates between a disney dad and a major gaslighter, so is a very confusing influence. I didnt know what to make of it during the most of our marriage, so how could they.. I just hope my consistent love and caregivimg and predictability will be enough for them to grown into healthy adults..

Well done you. You have done amazingly!

Good for you
you are truly a miracle 😂.

well done

Awesome, OP! That's very impressive. Well done!

I understand wanting the ex there because the DC wanted him there but why on earth have you let him take credit for their presents? Fuck that noise.

@StrawberryWater i don't know.. Just didnt want any arguments and i know pointing out who got what would have caused one. I bought the expensive items on their list as I currently earn more since the divorce and he hates that. He doesn't need excuses to start arguments and money is a huge trigger.
I think the dc know who puts in more effort. And they rage at me because they know its safe. With dad, they are not emotionally safe.

🥇 🥇 🥇

You will be so glad you did this. You deserve ALL THE MEDALS

🥂bloody well done OP