Something stupid being the crunch point?

[Polarbearwalrusseal]

I think my marriage is over and something so stupid has triggered it, some lost keys.

Unfortunately this isn’t something new. I’ve been losing them constantly lately but now they really have gone. DH won’t stop hunting them down and clearly doesn’t believe I last had them Friday. He will keep hunting tomorrow and be cold and horrible until they’re found, if they are found.

Sorry, I just wondered if anyone else had this.

Not lost keys specifically I mean general end of marriage over something’small’ that isn’t small.

Has he said it’s the end of the marriage or have you decided you’ve had enough?

What else has happened to lead up to this point?

To answer your question, yes. Often when there are major issues in a relationship it can be something fairly small that becomes the final straw.

Yip small triggers can tip you over the edge, perfectly normal I should think. If you asked me the event that ended my 14 year marriage you d laugh, if I filled in the back story you'd cry, and maybe puke

Just not getting on at all.

I am getting no sleep. Baby asleep at 8. I should have gone then but so much to do and I’ll admit some of it is just sitting without kids. Then I go to bed at 10, she’s up just gone midnight. Then I’m tired and lose things. He doesn’t understand.

Change the routine? Keep doing the same thing and the same thing happens. I've had a lifetime of being shit with keys. These days I know they are in one of 3 places generally, or retrace my steps and then find them. Anyhow, for you it's a symptom of tiredness, understandable with a baby. How many other DC's do you have?
Is something or someone waking her up after 4 hours or does she need a feed then? How old is she?

I know but the problem is I don’t remember losing them, I know that makes no sense. It’s driving me mad so I understand it’s driving him mad too. She’s wanting to be fed but it’s so hard I don’t always get back to sleep in between feeds.

Is he doing his share of the childcare and the sleepless nights? Sleep deprivation is so tough on you. I can understand you wanting to have a couple of hours awake without the baby hanging off you, though.

He'd be better giving you chance to nap than storming round the house looking for keys.

Do you have any family nearby that might be able to give you both a break?

Unless he's like this normally, it might just be the strain of a new baby and something you get through as a couple?

Have you been this forgetful always? I guess you don't. It is your tiredness, some people call it baby brain and I suppose that there is also quite a lot of sleep deprivation there. It is kind of normal to an extend. You need rest he need to help you with the baby and the chores.
It doesn't matter if you have lost the keys now. The are more keys to loose if you don't have proper rest and re start your brain.

Sleep deprivation is pure madness. I remember to put coffee in my babys bottle with my own expressed milk in it the first months after she was born. Kind of funny now but so annoying when it happened.

Please bear in mind it may well be him hiding/moving your keys to fuck with you.

Yes, one day my marriage went from 50.01% to 49.99%.

But were things bad anyway? Or is it sleep deprivation/resentment/loss of lifestyle etc etc - all the inevitabiility of newborns.