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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Just ended it with someone I really like and now gutted

34 replies

Regretful85 · 24/12/2023 12:56

I have been seeing someone for 6 weeks and am mad about him but for the last 10 days he's been really cold and distant and cancelled a date. I asked him what was going on and that he seems to have lost interest and that if he has that, it's ok, he can tell me but he ignored the messages and asked me when I was free. We arranged another date for last night and he texted at 11pm saying he got kept late at work etc even though he supposedly finished at 5. He didn't even apologize.
That was the last straw for me and I texted him back and told him I'd had enough and that he wasn't treating me very well and I wished him all the best.
He now hasn't replied. Did I do the right thing? Gutted as probably won't meet someone I liked as much for a long time.
Is it sad that a part of me is hopeful he will get back in touch?

OP posts:
ChristmasFluff · 24/12/2023 16:02

The reason he didn't tell you he wasn't interested was so you will be available if things don't work out with the person he is really interested in.

Do not be anyone's back-up plan.

When a man is interested, you will know. Whenever you are not sure if a man is interested, he's not interested.

Original poster
Regretful85 · 24/12/2023 16:51

Thanks, I am actually proud of myself for taking control and taking myself out of the equation. Still feel shit though but I will be ok in a week or so I hope!

OP posts:
ChateauDuMont · 24/12/2023 17:54

Regretful85 · 24/12/2023 12:58

Also if he's not interested, I gave him the opportunity to tell me , why didn't he just tell me instead of arranging another date and standing me up? Or he could have just ghosted me?

Edited

Because you aren't the only one and is that one has gone wrong you were the back up.

You were right to dump him.

captivate · 24/12/2023 20:55

This hurt you are feeling isn't for him. It's for the hope you had that you might actually have found a good one. The person you are hurting over wouldn't have been keeping you as a back up! But sadly the person you are hurting over doesn't exist.

Shift the hope. Be glad he showed his true colours before you wasted any more time on him, and be thankful that the door is now open for the one worth keeping to come along!

HelpWendy · 24/12/2023 21:21

HelpWendy · 24/12/2023 19:53

I think the good bit is towards the end.

Original poster
Regretful85 · 24/12/2023 22:33

@HelpWendy thanks so much for this. I've heard of baggage reclaim before but never listened to her. I'm halfway through it now, she has such a lovely calming voice and talks a lot of sense

OP posts:
Aubree17 · 24/12/2023 22:36

I think your gut feeling was spot on.
People who are interested don't leave you guessing.
You did the right thing. Stay strong.

Starryskies1 · 24/12/2023 22:40

You’ve done the right thing. I have been through similar recently but had been a few months together. He also didn’t text back. Eventually I messaged and wished him merry Xmas etc. He did reply but it’s definitely the end. I think peoples actions show a lot more than their words sometimes. You will be ok you deserve more.

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