ExH has moved away: DD is 18 - should I ask for maintenance?

[WishIMite]

ExH has moved away on DD’s 18th birthday - after having her 50:50 since she was tiny.

He has offered £100 a month maintenance but he earns around 100k - however, this is through his own company so is easily hidden from CMS I guess. I asked him to pay the £100 to DD but he hasn’t done so.

Should I bother going through CMS at this point, or just not bother?

He is responsible whilst she is in full time education if he is her father so yes apply for child benefit, not spousal support tho

I would just go through CMS I guess - but reading people’s experiences here of people who pay themselves through companies, I wonder if it is worth it?

What an absolute prince of a man.

Is your daughter in school still? Is she planning to go to uni?

Have you looking up his business online and seen the figures?

@WishIMite is she still in full time education and going to university without a break between school and uni? if so, then he has to by law still pay for her. how much did he pay before your daughter turned 18?? hope it was a lot more than 100 quid? that would not even cover makeup and hair products!!

She’s in school yes and going to uni or doing an apprenticeship. He’s never paid anything before due to having 50:50 care.

He pays her £60 a month pocket money.

He has a huge amount of disposable income but I suspect if I went through CMS would get it hidden by his accountant.

CMS should last until she finishes full time secondary level education so yes. If he is taking dividends and salary the CMS will initially assess very low based on salary but you can ask for a variation based on dividends.

I am hesitant as he will be furious. But it feels so unfair that he just gets to walk away.

@WishIMite he needs to pay a lot more than that if she is going to uni!! 100 will only cover a couple of weeks food. she has accomodation and books to pay for. surely he wont begrudge her that much. he certainly cannot expect you to fund it all. if cms ask for his tax payments for the last three years they will get a better idea of what he is taking home, although i suspect he might even be diddling the taxman! gone are the days of free uni!

F

so just curious, in his opinon 60 quid is enough for a uni student to live on for half the month? He should give budgeting lessons if he could manage that!

tbf we have an older child at uni and he pays her £200 a month (as an employee of his company! Although she doesn’t work for him)

But obviously I’ve had to pay for everything during uni holidays etc.

I had this situation with my ex. We split up when she was 6 months old. He moved to america and married a senior buyer for a household name out there - he sold his company over here and suddenly couldn’t pay anything (total dickhead- they live in a $2m house and own several holiday properties and holiday to Mexico many times a year). Anyway I basically said (exaggerated lie) that if he wasn’t prepared to keep paying whilst she was at university I would give the student support people his details and they would assess our contribution based on that and he’d have to pay up. Sort of true - they do ask for both parents details. He obviously didn’t want anyone to know what he earns so he suddenly agreed to continue the £200 a month he’d been paying until she finished university. Absolute prince of a man.

Thanks for the advice. What fun. Men just can’t see that the money is for their children and not for their ex’s!!

Well he's being fraudulent to start with. So yes I would go through CMS. His accountants clearly aren't that clever given what they are doing today, plus, their own neck is on the line if they get caught out.

Child maintenance ends when child reaches 18 or until secondary education finishes. Uni education is not a legal requirement to pay child maintenance during.

According to the government website it is until they are 20 if at uni?

https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance-service

Under 20 refers to A levels, not uni.

University is classed as tertiary education. The 20 year reference is for A levels or college which is secondary education.

@Globules is right, CM is only up to the end of A levels/equivalent. However, I'm assuming that your DD is in their last year of a levels or similar having just turned 18. If so, then he will be liable to pay CM until your child benefit entitlement ends, probably 31st August 2024.

If he is on 100k and not hiding it, and your DD never/rarely stays with him, that £850 a month.

Go through CMS. Don't argue or debate or engage with him. Let him get angry if he wants. None of that matters. This is money for your daughter’s care - you need it and are entitled to it.

What a prince
earning 100k and only sending her 60

Either way is pursue it