Making a long term plan

[Welcomeking]

How do I even start with this?

For context I am 45 with one DC age 15. I have been unhappy since DC was a baby having been subject to controlling behaviour and emotional abuse that is not consistent but still there. We are pretty much two different people now. Anyone else living like this?

I am now perimenopausal and at a stage where my tolerance is low. We a joint home, 10 year left on the mortgage but I want out before this. If I make the decision is it then my responsibility to find somewhere else or am I entitled to stay in the house until it is sold. Thinking ahead. I need to make a plan so for anyone who has been through similar I would appreciate your advice.

Hello :) are you married or just partners? Is it the mortgage that you want put of or the marriage?

If married you will need a financial order to decide how assets are split, and the process takes minimum 6 months from when you apply for divorce. If you're the main carer of your DD then you may legally be entitled to more than half of the equity in the house..

I have just told my DH that I want to separate so I'm doing a lot of research about this.
Check out the Legal Queen on Instagram or YouTube..she does some really helpful videos about family law

@sososadaboutthis thank you.

We are married and have been for 11 years. We are both on the mortgage for the house and it is the marriage I need a long term plan for. We are both carers as parents for our DC. In terms of the mortgage if we decide to divorce in, for example, 4 years when DC is 19 would this mean I receive less as my DC is then classed as an adult. No real thought as to how this all works?

My understanding is that when the kids are younger and need childcare, and are legally dependent on you then as their main carer the court may give you more than 50% of the split. It depends whether you go through mediation and can agree on a split that works for you, or whether you ask the court to decide the financial settlement. If you wait until.DD is 19 she is not a legal dependent. This is just info from what I've read on Mumsnet and websites. Some solicitors offer free consultations where you can ask for some general advice about the process..I did this and it really helped me. Also check the divorce board for more info! X

Yep, that's me. Mid-40s, probably peri-menopausal and in an emotionally abusive relationship for years. Have finally decided I have had enough and will be filling in the divorce application in the new year (once I have informed DH). Every situation is different, and how your assets are split will depend on a number of factors, including future earning potential.
The divorce/separation board is very informative, and I would also consult a solicitor before doing anything. You can get 30 min - 1 h free consultation with many of them to help you understand the process.
Good luck!