Hi this is my first proper thread I tend to be more of a lurker around here. Anyway I need some advice on what to do with my relationship with my dad. Also sorry in advance I had no idea I was going to write this much so thank you for reading.
Some backstory my parents were together till I was 10/11 but he had left through the years I remember my mother begging my dad to come back on the phone when she thought I and my younger sister was asleep. He wasn't around much but when he was you did have to tread on eggshells and he was a verbally abusive man such as screaming in our faces.
After they spilt he moved to London with his new girlfriend and would come and see us sporadically and often cancel just before we were about to leave and then wanting us to go to him which wasn’t doable. He also didn’t pay child support and left my mother in a lot of debt. Around this time I got diagnosed with m.e and he wasn’t very understanding and because of my m.e I can’t work full time so still live and home with my mother and sister.
During lockdown I confronted him over the phone about everything where he apologised and promised to do better and came to see us before moving to the Isle of Man. I have since made the trip there a few times which I find very difficult and tiring.
This year where he has been to the capital a few times and started reverting back to before such as only telling us quite late and refusing to come where we live to see us and sending us childrens card and presents for our birthdays as it was ‘funny’ we are both in our late 20s.
Last week and he messaged he was in the capital for one night saying they wanted a quick getaway and to come and get the train to see him. Me and my sister both had work so couldn’t go which I explained (my sister doesn’t really communicate with him) and said he was welcome to come and visit us in the evening he ignored and said how busy he was. I became upset and didn’t text anymore so my mother messaged angry on my behalf and then apologised to me as she was sorry he isn’t a better dad. I later got a message from my dad saying sorry for not planning better but my mother shouldn’t get involved and the train journey isn’t long from here to London if we wanted to see him.
I'm not really sure what to do anymore as I love my dad and despite his awfulness he can be great and I do have some good memories but I don’t know if I can be keep being let down all the time. I can’t keep getting hurt and I know if I do say something I’ll most likely be screamed at.