How do you cope with having had a minimal love from your mother?
I was raised by parents who had a decent amount of money. We had lots of material things, never wanted for anything, but one thing that was lacking was just some simple love.
We saw our dad every other weekend without fail, and I feel we got more of this from him, however as we saw so little of him, it never really evolved into something which felt secure. He always wanted us to have hobbies but our mum said we didn't need them and he encouraged us hugely, I wanted to go and live with him but I wasn't allowed. I can't remember a lot of it but I remember a strong urge to be around him all the time. He's great now and we're very close.
Our mum, who we lived with, would feed us, clothe us, buy us stuff etc, but would never say 'I love you'. She never came to school plays, or encouraged us. She never hugged us. She never taught us about life or had the hard conversations with us. I used to go out partying with sixth formers when I was 13/14 and she never had a clue where I was. I don't think she was particularly bothered. I have my own child now and cannot imagine raising him the way we were raised. Even now, when I tell her about something I'm going through or that I've had a hard day, she says 'sorry to hear that' and changes the subject to herself or moves on. When I talk to my dad about similar things it's like a world of relief and he will take the weight off my shoulders.
Me and my siblings have chatted about this recently and all come to the same realisation. We are all in our mid 30s and none have been able to hold down a long term relationship. We all have low self esteem and have blamed ourselves for being unlovable or not worthy. We all ended up in tears talking about it.
Not really sure why I'm posting, but I'm wondering if anyone else has similar feelings or can shed any light?