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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

no contact for 3 months

5 replies

popp3n03 · 20/12/2023 23:15

background info : My ex(19) and I(19) started dating the beginning of senior year and things were great up until like end of senior year when our communication was wayyy off. It was basically my first relationship but not his, he was a basketball player so he was always busy and it really didn’t bother me until my insecurities took over because his communication was lacking( he barely texted first or initiated hanging out) he made it seem like I was clingy and so I decided to end things there but somehow we always found our way back to each other( he told me he wanted to make things right and that he would communicate better , which he did ).
We started talking again but never made things official even though we’d tell each other “ I love you “

2 weeks later I found out that he he had been actively talking to one of my “friends” that goes to another school for 2 months immediately after we ended things all while he was trying to win me back , he claimed that it was a rebound and that she made him realize he really “loved “ me and that caused us not to speak until after graduation because he didn’t agree with my “get back” however we reconnected during the summer.

After we reconnected during the summer we were planning on getting back together but we both didn’t know how we felt about doing long distance and that caused a lot of arguments. I found out that he refollowed my ” friend” who he got with previously on instagram and i felt it was really disrespectful and confronted him about it and he shrugged it off as oh she followed me first and i just followed back and then he finally unfollowed after we argued about it a few more times . fast forward a month later, he goes off to college and I leave the country last min to travel . Wee decided to stay “friends” even though we knew it was more than that

As I was traveling he did seem interested in getting photo dumps and things of that sort but he stopped initiating convos with me and after constantly reaching out first i just stopped texting him to see if he would begin reaching out, and he didn’t . I also found out that I was blocked on instagram even though we weren’t even following each other in the first place.Additionally I found out he started following my “friend” again.

Fast forward to my birthday(oct ) i was expecting a happy birthday from the loml but I got nothing so I proceeded to block him on everything because his actions constantly showed he didn’t care about me .(I recently found out my bsf contacted him on my bd to tell him to wish me one and he left her on seen)

Anways it’s been 2 months now, no contact and he just unblocked me on instagram a few days ago and idk what he’s trying to do, I did tell him I was coming back from traveling end of december so maybe his angel is to rekindle with me like nothing happened or he just doesn’t care to have me blocked anymore. I want to block but i don’t want him to know i’ve noticed he’s unblocked me. He’s my first love and there’s obviously some feelings still there but i know my self worth. How do I respond to this if he does reach out out or if he doesn’t ?

OP posts:
Tonight1 · 20/12/2023 23:23

Time to call it a day

SkaneTos · 20/12/2023 23:28

You write that you know your self-worth.
Block him. Your relationship is over.

toomanyleggings · 20/12/2023 23:29

MOVE.ON.

DelphiniumBlue · 20/12/2023 23:33

He blocked you. That means he’s not interested. If he subsequently unblocks you, it probably means his girlfriend has dumped him and he’ll make do with you till he finds someone else.
For your own sake, don’t contact him again and hopefully you’ll find someone nicer.

Burntouted · 21/12/2023 22:56

Work towards moving on..
Don't get pulled back in.

Try to enjoy being 19.. and doing things to build your future.

Sounds like you have self worth...it's just a matter of emotional regulation. Not letting emotions overpower rationale and being logical. ..as with many people struggle with...

Which often lead to making regretful, possibly terrible irreversible decisions.

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