How would you respond to this?

[WilseyWooWoo]

My boyfriend and I have been together just over a year now and last night he got up in the night, 4.30am, to take some painkillers for a headache and came back to bed. When he got in bed, he rolled over and said ‘if you’re sleeping with someone else then we are over’
I was slightly taken aback and said something like I know, but I’m not. I tried to talk about it more but he just dismissed me and said go back to sleep.
Thinking back he’s been quite distant this last week or so.
I’m unsure with how to respond to this, whether I just ignore what he said and not bring it up again or should I say something, what would others do? How would you take it?

You can't just let it go. You need to tell him that he's bang out of order and if he doesn't trust you, he knows where the door is (metaphorically speaking)

Also I'd be pointing out people judge you by their own standards so maybe he has something he needs to confess.

I will definetly bring it up with him this evening, I know he has been cheated on in previous relationships, I think that’s where it comes from, I have also told him before that I’m not his ex, and don’t behave like that.

He is starting to become more possessive recently and told me something I was wearing was inappropriate for work as men would be there.

He sounds bonkers.

“He is starting to become more possessive recently and told me something I was wearing was inappropriate for work as men would be there.”

This is a bad sign. He wants you to start censoring yourself for his comfort.

OK, so this is him clearly being controlling.

He'll get worse. He's dropping the mask.

How do you know his ex actually cheated? I presume all you have is his word for it?

Maybe he just started accusing her, like he's doing to you.

Even if an ex or multiple exes have cheated on him provably, it's not your problem and not your emotional labour to manage - he's no business putting the sins of past girlfriends on you. If he can't get past it, he shouldn't be dating anyone.

I don't believe this was a sleepy/half asleep thing - he must have been awake for a while to recognise the pain he was in, and then go and get painkillers etc.

Promise I'm not a mumsnetter who immediately jumps to cheating, but I have experience of being accused of cheating when the other person was, and this sounds a little more like that. Also, with the worrying about what you're wearing etc - it can be a mask for their own indiscretions. That or you're seeing the real person for the first time - would have expected that mask to have slipped before a year though.

Run now, don't let him manipulate you into believing that you're the problem, he most definitely is.

@shallihaveago This is what I’m worrying about, the mask slipping and him not actually being the person I think he is.
I spent the last 12 years with an abusive alcoholic, and while he’s nothing like that, I don’t want to end up in another abusive situation and I’m worried that as it’s not as bad as what I went through before I may not notice the signs.