Last night dp sent me a text, yes a ‘text’, at 3:30am in the night telling me that in the morning he will help me take the dc to school and then we will go to buy our Christmas shopping (as he drives it’s easier). He works every day but he had the morning off, not sure why he couldn’t have communicated his plans verbally with me though or woke me to tell me. My phone is on silent when I sleep and does not notify me, I woke in the morning and did my usual routine (I do everything with the dc by myself) and I did not see his text. At 8am he wakes up and goes mad at me, I explained I hadn’t seen his text and then he gets very annoyed at my morning routine…
it was a late night the night before, dc had after school activity clubs and we didn’t get home until 7:30pm. This morning I woke, got myself ready and then I will make dc breakfast and get them dressed and would usually then walk to school. They are very quick and I never have an issue with this routine, yes I could wake earlier but they are always in school on time. I woke them up 40 mins before they were due in school and dp was very annoyed about this. Considering he has never ONCE gotten our dc dressed/sorted/ready for school or for ANYTHING in all of their life, and considering I do this by myself every single day, it annoyed me how rude he was. He told me how disorganised I am, I’m basically lazy and was absolutely disgusted in the fact I gave the dc milk and cereal for breakfast…. I usually make nutritious breakfasts but they like cereal some mornings but dp was appalled at this.
he spent the majority of the day repeating how disorganised and lazy I am. After we returned home from shopping I immediately tidied away, washed all his dishes, did some jobs of his he told me to do and when I finally had 1 hour left before school pick up, I needed to study for a course I am taking but he lied in bed and told me to iron his work uniform and hang his wet washing up while he napped…. I then had to rush to pick dc up from school and take them to their after school sports clubs. We returned home at 7:30pm and after feeding/sorting them and putting them to bed I then batch cooked 12 containers of meals for dp (I do this every 2 days on top of cooking every day for him), did more tidying and then he returned home at 10pm from work.
he proceeded to go over this mornings issue and tell me again how disorganised I am etc and told me that he even told his clients what I did and they said ‘what the f*ck’… this has triggered me very bad! Being a mother is a job I take very seriously and to have people criticise or talk bad about me has really upset me, because apparently I have done something terrible by waking the dc up in ‘just enough’ time and feeding them cereal for breakfast…
I am very angry that dp has spoken badly of me to a client and especially discussed my role as a mother with them and portrayed me in a negative light. I have never done that to him. I asked him ‘well I hope you also told your clients that you have never gotten your children dressed or ready once in their entire life, and I hope you also told them that you don’t raise your own kids’. He then got annoyed at me and told me I am ‘pushing buttons’.
a few minutes later he told me that he didn’t really tell his clients anything but that my reaction clearly means I am disappointed with myself? Now my question…. Am I in the wrong?? Could I be better prepared at times - yes! But life with kids is hard and not everything is smooth. I look after the dc alone every day since they have been born, I have only ever had 1 night away from them, I never have anyone babysit, I take them to activity clubs 4 weekdays a week and on Saturdays and Sunday mornings too. I do all the homework, school activities, housework, cooking and get no help. The little time I do get for myself, to study or work, is always filled doing something for dp and then he critiques and tells me I’m disorganised!