I'm so lonely -separation

[RamsaysBitchinNightmares]

We decided mutually to split just over a week ago, but we are still sharing a bed until after Christmas when we can tell our 10 year old DC.

I'm just so lonely.

We each have an older child who have both moved out.

I'm depressed and on medication and in counselling but it's just so lonely.

I don't need advice.. maybe I do. I don't know. I just hate this feeling.
Will it pass?

Difficult situation. Time to adapt to changed circumstances will be needed, but presumably the separation is best.

Yes it is for the best. There is no anger between us but I can't help feel responsible which I guess makes the loneliness worse.

If It is any comfort at all, I like the username. RamsaysBitchinNightmares, is a good stab at originality. Give It 6 months, good that there's no bitterness, and you'll feel better. Pointless feeling responsible for something you both think is for the best. No young kids, so easier to adjust.

Thanks, It was the roller derby name I wanted but injury knocked me off wheels 😩

I hope your right. It's going to be a massive adjustment over time. I guess therapy will help with that

It will. Happy Christmas.

There is no lonelier place than a marriage that has run its course. It feels worse now as you are still having to share the same space and you can't begin to move on. It will get easier.

Is there no alternative to sharing a bed? I couldn’t do that.

It's better to be on your own rather than just to be with someone to stop loneliness if it isn't right. Surround yourself with as many good friends as you can. Make plans with them.. meet for coffee/ lunch .
Join a new club in the new year.. something you enjoy.
Plan an holiday or a break away.
Make plans for things to do with your child.
Honestly it won't last forever.

@Hottenan it is just until we have told our DC. They are 10 and don't deserve a broken heart just before Christmas.

I will be moving in to another room once they have been told.

@shalligiveupagain Thank you

@Digestivechocolatebiscuit I have started to do that to fill my time. I'm off work sick following a MH breakdown (a trigger for the decision to separate) so I think floating round the house all day is making it harder.
Tomorrow I think I'll head back to the gym as a starting point.

Try to be busy in games with people or family members.

I think being in an unhappy relationship is lonelier than being alone. Before I left my husband I was lonely all the time. I felt sad all the time. Once we went our separate ways I didn't mind being alone because I wasn't hoping someone was going to make me feel less lonely. I could watch what I wanted on TV rather than sat in a room with someone to not speak to. At least when I do things alone now it's my choice. Not sure if that makes sense or helps!

@Qwertyyui it does and I guess I will get there. At the moment its the little things. Right now I really need a hug but I can't go to him for that.

Good that you'll be moving shortly, continuing to share a bed, all be It for show, would fuck with your head.

I've just broke down and my ex listened and gave me a hug. I told him I'm lonely and I'm struggling, but that I acknowledge it's not easy for him either.
I explained some of the things I've learned through therapy which he acknowledged so that is positive.

I'm off for a walk then I will probably hit the gym tonight when it's quiet.