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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Was I in the wrong to cancel our date night?

16 replies

youuuin · 19/12/2023 20:05

I have been at work today and it is DP's day off - we are apart for Christmas from Friday, so I messaged him and suggested I book us a table at a restaurant tonight, as it is the last real chance we'll have to do something nice before Christmas. He agrees, says he is excited, all good.

Until I get home, and he isn't in. Turns out he is at the pub with his dad, he got back on time to go for the date so no problem there, until I realise he is pissed. Speech slurred, eyes drooping stinking of booze etc. I told him I didn't want to go to a restaurant with him if he was drunk, he keeps insisting that he wants to go but I said no, now he's gone downstairs in a huff.

I don't mind him going for a beer or two, but I am so disappointed and quite frankly furious that he would get pissed up before going on a date - am I overreacting? He sure seems to think so.

OP posts:
category12 · 19/12/2023 20:11

Well, he's bound to think you're overreacting when he's pissed.

Don't blame you for not wanting to go.

Does he often do things like this or is it unusual?

sprigatito · 19/12/2023 20:13

Fuck that. I can't bear drunk men, there is no way I would spend an evening at a restaurant with one. I'd be furious op, how utterly disrespectful.

ChickpeaPie · 19/12/2023 20:14

YANBU

mummybear2104 · 19/12/2023 20:16

I'd have cancelled ..

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 19/12/2023 20:17

No, he's been a prick

bellsandwhistles333 · 19/12/2023 20:18

Oh no that's really unfair and I hope he makes it up to you OP

BRAERS · 19/12/2023 20:19

I'd have been livid!

MiddleAgeAllTheRage · 19/12/2023 20:20

Fuck that

CatamaranViper · 19/12/2023 20:23

I wouldn't mind too much personally unless he was 'end of the night' pissed. But presumably he would have known you'd be upset so HWBU to do something purposely to upset or disrespect you

craigth162 · 19/12/2023 20:25

Hes an arse

youuuin · 19/12/2023 20:35

He's just come in with a McDonald's for me then went back downstairs without saying much, no apology as of yet. A nice gesture I suppose, but eating McDonald's in our bedroom by myself isn't quite the romantic night I had hoped for🙃

OP posts:
youuuin · 19/12/2023 20:37

category12 · 19/12/2023 20:11

Well, he's bound to think you're overreacting when he's pissed.

Don't blame you for not wanting to go.

Does he often do things like this or is it unusual?

Last month he was late to a date night because he'd been at the pub, tonight wasn't completely out of character but was the worst by far.

OP posts:
Bluela18 · 19/12/2023 20:37

I would have been fine with it, he was out with his dad having a few drinks . Unless he was legless I'm sure he could still have enjoyed a date night with you. But since you were really annoyed I hope he makes it up to you

Chewbecca · 19/12/2023 20:39

How many drinks had he had? I would have cancelled too if he had been properly drunk.

Jk987 · 19/12/2023 20:39

I would have gone on the date and had a few catch up drinks. He might have sobered up a bit after some food in the restaurant. Is this the tip of the iceberg or a one off? If the latter I'd move on. It's Christmas and he enjoyed a few drinks with his Dad, not the end of the world!

Olika · 19/12/2023 20:51

Oh no it's reasonable you cancelled.

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