How do I process this....I feel so hurt

[Onehouratatime]

I'll try and keep it short.

End of July me and my ex split. I cried and cried and cried...begged him to come back..the whole lot.... he blocked me on everything.. didn't return my stuff and was gone. We broke up because he broke my boundaries with trust and other women....After 2/3 months my friends found him on 2 dating sites and a week ish layer he popped back up said he would like to talk and see if we can fix stuff....we spoke he refused to admit his boundary breaks and didn't understand why I was upset about the dating apps, he claimed he never spoke to anyone on them never met anyone never slept with anyone nothing he claimed he had been a mess and was so sad we ended .....he then u turned and blocked me again.

2 weeks ago after a night out (he must of seen my pics on fb somehow) he messaged me and told me I looked stunning...we talked and he said he wanted to fix us but was scared...we talked we met we bonded and we discussed our issues and what needed to change and we agreed and I thought we would possibly give it a good go... then this Saturday I get an Instagram phone call from his ex before me....

Turns out...he hasn't been sad these past 4 months since we split...he's been begging her to take him back and sleeping with her the whole time. He even send her a dick pic one evening while messaging me about how we will move forward and build trust AT THE SAME TIME!! When we met I asked him outright to his face have you slept or kissed or anything with anyone else? He said absolutely not..he had been a mess and had no interest in anyone else but me he said he loved me and I believed him like an idiot.

He promised his ex the world and used her for sex...saw me moving on realised he made a mistake and dropped the ex and chased me...all the while lying to my face...

I don't know how to process this

He blamed it on me said it was my fault.
He was literally going to reenter our relationship and bring his ds and my ds and dd back into it (after a few months) based on a massive lie !!

I'm so sad and angry...please tell me how I process this and move on now...

Sorry if my typing is terrible

More or less what I said but I got a roll eyes emoji

What's your process? He's a scrote. Work on your self esteem and raise your standards. Women deserve better than useless men

You’ll never be able to process it the way you need to @Onehouratatime simply because you will never be able to understand how cheating shitbags like this lie so easily.
He’s blocked you to punish you because he is betting you’ll be so distraught you’ll fall over in gratitude when he unblocks then messages you.

Stay mad. If not for your own sake, then the kids. He wanted to drag your kids back into his seedy, cheating life only so he could do the same again next time his trouser get too itchy to keep on.

I wasted many years on someone just like this - he’d leave me for one of his harem, then leave her for whoever was most on the boil and on and on. Took me years to unravel the truth and I can tell you that man caused serious emotional harm to tens of women and their children and laughed it off. He will never be sorry and he’ll only change when he becomes too old to keep up with the number of women he needs to hurt to feel good.

If he ever does manage to contact you again, go nuclear. Scorched earth is the only way to keep this kind of man away.

He sounds like a horror. Keep well away and focus on your wellbeing.

OK. You make sense of it by recognising that some things in life will never make sense to you.

He has treated you poorly, and that's not something you will ever do to someone, so you won't understand it. Do you feel you could understand someone who instigated genocide, or abused children, or kicked puppies? Probably not, and nor would you want to, right?

Your healing starts in letting go of him. And that starts with recognising that he is not someone you will ever understand, or be part of you. Needing to understand his actions isn't a requisite in your life. Accept that you do not understand him.

He unfortunately got in there first and blocked me on socials and whatsapp - the audacity! However I did block him on texts and calls. I'll go no contact now and remain that way

You need to detach your ego from this process. Blocking him first isn't 'winning'. Him blocking you first isn't 'unfortunate'. You are going no contact, so, contact between you being blocked is a win for you. 'Fortunately, he has blocked me, so there's no need for any further messages' would display acceptance of your situation, rather than your continued engagement with his silly ego battle.

Let him go. He matters as much to you as next-door-but-4. Who gives a crap if he blocks you? Who gives a crap why he does the things he does? That's moving forward and healing. Not a continued effort to psychoanalyse until you get an answer.

'When someone shows you who they are, believe them'. Never was that truer than in this case. Run girl, you've had a narrow escape from being truly screwed over a second time.

Oh hon I am so so sorry...men are disgusting.... all the advice you gave me please follow this for yourself aswell darling

Sending massive hugs xxx

Just want to say a massive big thank you to everyone you've all spurred me on and pushed me to remain angry and face some hard facts including the fact I'll never understand the whys and thats OK

Thank you all and I'm sorry so many of us have had shit experiences like this

Love to all .. here's to 2024 I'm so ready

https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/list-of-posts/

Ever read this blog, OP? It helped me a lot.

You need to remain angry and maybe come back here and read these replies when you feel yourself start to soften (which you will and that's just human nature). He doesn't deserve you and its so unfair of him, especially when children are involved. He will probably end up sad and alone and when he realises you've the dignity to block him he will get a sharp kick up the bum!

There isn’t much you can do other than cut him off - totally 💯
and that means all social media
you need to get to a
place he doesn’t exist or appear

and feel rather sad and bruised for a while
and it might take some time to get over this

But you arnt the first and you arnt the last x

Thank you everyone thanks so so much