Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Christmas is a time for spending with family and loved ones...but what if you don't have that ?

11 replies

Livelifelaughter · 19/12/2023 15:55

Just that. One brother. Parents dead. All friends spending it with their families. Single and alone. It's actually the run up to New year's and NYE that feels worse, everyone seems to be with families or boyfriends. How are single and alone people doing?

OP posts:
DGConsultant · 19/12/2023 17:33

Tough one. Make your own version of a happy Christmas/new year, go out on your own. I live in London, single, family back home in Belfast, so similar. Not all that fun, I get that.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 19/12/2023 17:38

Good food, good wine, books, music, films I want to watch highlighted in the Radio Times, going for walks....I have a big birthday and a big holiday coming up next year so I'll be spending some time planning that.

Also - deciding to go away next Christmas and thinking of where.

ComtesseDeSpair · 19/12/2023 17:39

Do your friends know that you’ll be spending the Christmas period mostly alone? In my friendships groups there are a lot of expat friends who often don’t go home for Christmas and because we all know this, there’s never been any question that those of us who do have families in the U.K. would invite them to join us and make it clear it’s not some sort of pity invitation but one we’d actually like to have them for.

If it’s the Twixtmas period particularly, then honestly this is the point where many people will have done the cooped up family / couple Christmas thing and actually want to break the cabin fever and meet up with friends. Don’t be afraid of inviting people to stuff, or at least being open about being on your own and happy to go out.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 19/12/2023 17:39

Have a look on the childfree board, there are a few threads about Christmas that have people being on their own talking about their plans.

Original poster
Livelifelaughter · 19/12/2023 17:53

Thank you for acknowledging that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Livelifelaughter · 19/12/2023 17:56

ComtesseDeSpair · 19/12/2023 17:39

Do your friends know that you’ll be spending the Christmas period mostly alone? In my friendships groups there are a lot of expat friends who often don’t go home for Christmas and because we all know this, there’s never been any question that those of us who do have families in the U.K. would invite them to join us and make it clear it’s not some sort of pity invitation but one we’d actually like to have them for.

If it’s the Twixtmas period particularly, then honestly this is the point where many people will have done the cooped up family / couple Christmas thing and actually want to break the cabin fever and meet up with friends. Don’t be afraid of inviting people to stuff, or at least being open about being on your own and happy to go out.

Edited

So Twixtmas is fine... it's Christmas day, Boxing Day and NYE eve and day...for NYE most of my friends just seem to do family things too or are couples. NYE last year I was dating someone and we just didn't even plan much other than to cook and be together....I did actually invite a single friend over to join us too !

OP posts:
Original poster
Livelifelaughter · 19/12/2023 17:57

I have said to a few people that I am around at Christmas but other than the "fancy doing something on the 27th " no offers...

OP posts:
DGConsultant · 19/12/2023 18:25

You never want to impose on friends if your single and alone at Christmas/other times, especially if they're married or in a relationship, that's my feeling anyway.

Original poster
Livelifelaughter · 20/12/2023 09:55

@DGConsultant I agree entirely. I always make sure if I am traveling with friends and there's a person on their own that we invite them to join us. Christmas is different as many people travel to families and are more tight knit.

OP posts:
Fivepigeons · 20/12/2023 10:35

I'm not alone now, married with kids, but when I was (parents live abroad and I had a strained relationship with them, no siblings, no partner at the time) I usually went to work. Because I worked at a hospice so there were shifts on Christmas day. Had some lovely Christmas days there actually. I volunteered with a homeless charity one year too.
Other years I met up with friends in a pub as they didn't have great family relationships so just went for flying visits with family then met up with me.
One year when I was 23 I just spent it alone in my bedsit. It was actually really nice because I'd made myself a hamper of Christmas food before hand. I had some baileys and watched some films on my laptop. Spent the day in my pj's eating all this Christmas food. There was no one else in the shared house because they'd all gone to their families so I had the whole place to myself. I had a long bath. I went for a walk in the park and saw a beautiful fox. One of my favourite Christmas days actually

HappFridays · 20/12/2023 11:07

I have chosen to spend Christmas alone and looking forward to it. Toxic relationship with my sister and being single would be more painful to have to sit and watch her perfect family. Spent every Christmas with my father so have suggested sister has him this year. I am going to have some nice food, wine and a movie - having worked hard all year I am looking forward to just relaxing. Its all about accepting the situation - self love and not comparing yourself to others and thinking that is what you should have.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page