How do I get better at making friends?

[Pleaselettheholidayend]

Essentially the topic title.

I have two young kids and I was the first in my peer group to have children by a few years. In that period of time I've felt my ties with my closest friends (from university) loosening as they got on with their stuff and I mine. Add into that COVID and the usual living in different towns post university I just feel those links dwindling and a sense of distance there. It's making me very sad, for the connection we had and also the lack of connections I have made since becoming a mother.

I'm bad at making friends, I really struggle with small talk and I find new social interactions awkward to the point of paralysing. I think I'm probably not as bad as I think I am but I can't escape the sense people would rather be away from me. How can you push through that and improve your social skills? I know this is on me to fix and I really want to - I'm lucky that I am close to my family and sisters and have a good partner but it would be good to have even just a couple of friends to talk to, just peer to peer. I just can't shake the sense of being left behind.

Not really much advice but following as I'd like to make more friends too :) let's hope 2024 is out year xx

See if there's any meetup groups you could join,.ask questions, be interested in others,.talk to other mums

I have moved country a lot so regularly need to restart on friendship groups. Personally I find doing stuff the best way so there's automatically a topic of discussion not just small talk. So what's your interest- park run, amateur dramatics, choir, art class, adult netball/rugby/rowing or book club. Join up and start from there, attend regularly to build up connections. The added bonus is other people join for same reason so are open to finding new friends themselves.

@Whereinharrogate let's hope! Good luck in getting out there, it's very daunting as an adult 😬

@flipflopfly thank you - I know this is the right answer really and it would be killing two birds with one stone as I want to pick up a hobby after I stopped following the birth of my youngest. But can't for now, as I can't afford to pay for them at this time. Bit a definite goal for the year!

Volunteer at parkrun OP, aside from getting there and the coffee after it shouldn't cost you anything.
I recommend scanning because you see everyone's names on their barcodes, and after a few weeks of "well done Chris!" x 200 you know who everyone is! Add on token sorting at the cafe after if you want an easy way in to sitting and listening to other people's conversations before weighing in yourself.

@Paperbagsaremine I've always liked the idea of doing parkrun but there's not one local - I'm moving to a house right next to a park, maybe could look at getting one set up? (I am very I fit and don't run, but that's another challenge!) Thanks!

"If you build it, they will come" perhaps!