Met a guy about 12 months ago as he was doing a rather big job for me. I was just separated at the time. To be honest in ways I don't think I even fancied him I was so emotionally detached and in survival mode with the kids. Anyway over the course of about 6 months he called in a few times (in hindsight much more than was necessary, only noticing that now) and it was lovely just to have a chat about the jobs and other things, but again the 30 min visit was nice as I felt normal and so at ease with him chatting, something I have never really had with my husband since married.
Anyway fast forward, he did the two week job in April and kids and I had lots of fun with all the action going on. Between then an summer he'd drop me a text to call by or sprt suggest doing something like a sea swim together. I don't think I paid much heed, he could have now thinking about it perceived as a knock back but I honestly just didn't see myself that way, I was in a rut to be fair.
Fast forward again to September time and he was in touch so I thought I'll meet him. Anyway we had a gorgeous month or so hanging out. One of the first days however he suggested the whole I don't you or I to get hurt, I'm not trustworthy etc etc. I stupidly thought nothing of it as the connection between us was so easy and natural. To be honest it was total bliss. About a month later he called by, we spent the afternoon chatting and cooking in the kitchen and he dropped a bomb that his ex had been in touch. I asked him if he loved her why was in my kitchen. Anyway things went downhill from there. H said she was in trouble with her kids and needed his help etc, I bought it!! Duh. He kept suggesting doing things and I tried to resist not knowing what the hell he wanted from me. There was about a month of this. We really enjoyed each others company.
Buy alas I had to literally drag it out of asking him outright what the hell was going on, was he with his ex (yes he said reluctantly, did you ever even break up, vague yes and no answer) I asked him what the hell he was doing, did he really love this girl and what the hell had he been doing pursuing me all that time. He said he wasn't sure he did love her as he liked me so much, but ultimately he has chosen to be with her.
I am utterly whiplashed from this, why the hell did he even bother pursuing me, what also not just tell me but play it down for the second month and say he missed me and wanted to do things, kiss me do passionately and then pull away saying.oh this is complicated. Head f()k.
Thing is of course like an idiot I totally feel for him. I didn't chase or seek it out but nonetheless I totally fell for him. Probably gav him more rope as I had known him for a while and.hung myself.
Now I am gutted and can't believe why any would do that. I haver cut contact, but soo missing the fun we had. He is with his ex, he only confirmed this last week, the week before saying ,'he couldn't give me 100 per cent,' blaa blaa.
The thing is after being so careful for at least 12 months of separation thing guy comes along, I give him the benefit of doubt and for what, so within a month he is back with his ex. WTF why the hell would someone do that, he has destroyed my confidence and I am emotionally so unsteady and don't trust my own judgement.