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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Problems with SIL...again!

4 replies

Dream246 · 18/12/2023 13:32

Over the years there have been numerous problems with my brothers wife, she has quite a quick temper so if she's annoyed everyone will know about it. This has resulted In many family gatherings being upended however we have always let it go so as not to make life difficult for dear brother. However, over the last year it has gotten Particularly bad and for some reason, I seem to always be the person she goes at. And when she does, she speaks to me awfully. condescending, rude and quite vicious to be honest. It's happened again, right before Xmas and to be honest I blocked her from being able to contact me any further as the text messages I've received are pretty awful.

What do I do now?! I still want a relationship with my brother and his children but really he's going to fall in line with her isn't he? Parents are also caught up in this and are so upset as we just can't win with her. She always has a problem with us and honestly I think she would rather she just didn't have to deal with any of us

OP posts:
Didimum · 18/12/2023 13:41

Examples of things she has a problem with? What did she blow up about at you this time?

If you want to remain on good terms with your brother, I think the only thing you can do is be bland, minimal and keep at realistic arm’s length. Grey rock, basically.

StrawberryWater · 18/12/2023 14:26

Grey rock and keep her blocked.

It's what I do with my SIL. She's the type of woman who will stub her toe on her own couch and somehow still blame me for it.

Be prepared to not have a relationship with your brother though.

Dream246 · 18/12/2023 14:34

So many different things. It's not even necessarily us that's done anything, if she's stressed out she'll snap and be rude or if she's not happy about plans for family get togethers she'll again be rude kick off an argument and then the whole plans will get stopped. He's taking her side again even though he's admitted she's talking to me terribly

OP posts:
Dream246 · 18/12/2023 16:30

@StrawberryWater can I ask If not having a relationship with your brother has badly Imoacted your family?

OP posts:
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