I got a Christmas card today from my mother’s childhood friend. She’s a lovely woman, very old school, never married, Christian, ex primary school teacher, speaks only good of people…
Anyway, my sister died of a brain tumour in June. She was only 51. Her hair hadn’t even turned grey. She was abused the same as me. There are also two GC - brother who is a yes man and a sister who is a Nazi priestess in Denmark 😂 (really!) but who can do no wrong.
The sister who died had zero help from any of them. I live in a different country and am fully n/c with all the others. I visited my sister twice when she was in hospice care and we parted on good terms. I am very messed up about her life and death but that’s another story.
I wasn’t given the information that she had died or any funeral details on the orders of my father as a ‘punishment’ for not visiting them when I was over. Most people obeyed which hurts very much. It’s so unfair.
Now I’ve got a Christmas card from a well-meaning innocent old lady who thinks (inferred in her words) that I chose not to attend the funeral and that my parents are suffering so much over my sister’s death and my absence.
What do I do? Nothing? I’ve got no one to back me up anyway. I’ll never see the woman again. But it hurts so much. To be a victim and to be blamed for it too. But if I spill the beans then she won’t believe me anyway. It’s my word against a larger group who present as a normal family (my mother is excellent at playing the nice middle class lady). Only my sister who died would understand. And she’s not here. I’m sitting on my stairs with this bloody card, crying. It’s all such a mess.
Please help or tell me what to do. I have run out of steam. I present as very strong in real life so no one really knows what I’m going through. I’ve tried to hint at it but no one seems to understand.