Hello people in my phone!
I have a situation with a co-worker I'd like some advice on and I don't have anyone I can discuss it with!
I get on with all my co-workers but she is the one I get on with best.
I am a lesbian and everyone I work with is aware of that. My co-worker is straight, married and has a couple of teen kids. She is approx 10 years older than me.
In the last few months my co-worker has started becoming quite touchy feely with me. We only see each other once a week in the office and as far as I can tell she does touch other colleagues on the arm.
However, if we are in close proximity she will touch and leave her hand on my thigh and sometimes squeeze it (high up with her fingers sliding between my legs. she will touch my arm and gently punch me if we're having a joke. She rubs my back and will touch my lower back when walking.
As a team we socialise a few times a year out of work (Xmas, birthdays, weddings etc) and once she has had a drink she will hug me all the time (in the office she says she doesn't like hugs) and she'll kiss my cheeks (face 😉) relentlessly (some kisses literally on the edge of my lips)
I've seen her husband watching us very closely when she's kissing me.
She also teases me a lot.
At a recent retirement party she sat next to me and had her leg pressed up against mine for most of the evening (there would have been space for her not to have her leg resting against mine). At the start of the evening I noticed someone tapping my knee so asked 'whose tapping my knee' thinking someone didn't realise they were doing it and she just turned and smirked at me.
She messages me at work most days and will usually txt me in the evenings several times a week.
I never touch her back, other than a hug goodbye at work social events, which I do with all co-workers.
I don't have an issue with her touching me as I feel very comfortable in her presence. I do realise a lot of people would be uncomfortable with it though!
As a lesbian I am hyper aware of not making females feel uncomfortable and I'd never want anyone to think I was making a move on them!
So I'm not really sure why she acts the way she does, is it a friendship thing? Does she crave attention and think because I'm gay I'll give it to her? Does she find me attractive? Is it a 'motherly'/ caring type thing as she's older?
As far as I'm aware she is happily married and my feelings for her are purely platonic.
I guess I just don't really know how to act in this situation...if it's a friendship /caring thing then that's fine but if it's anything else I'll have to try and add a little distance between us - I don't want to end up in a tricky / awkward situation in the work place!