My jealousy will kill my relationship

[551Salgrada]

Why do I get so jealous about the time my partner spends with other people? It will destroy us.
This last weekend I could feel that my need for attention was stifling my partner and I know I need to give her space.
She went out Friday night until the early hours and Saturday night until 3am with friends for Christmas while I looked after the kids. I'm not one for going out partying although I wasn't invited on these occasions. I was happy to look after the kids. Friday was fine but I got so jealous on Saturday night when I started getting selfies of her touching tongues with another woman. I am so ashamed but I started drinking when I was looking after the kids and wouldn't have been in much of a good state had they woken up. By the time my partner got back at 3 am I was not happy she arrived back with 6 friends and I was drunk enough to chat to her in the kitchen and tell her our relationship was over despite not meaning a word of it.
We spoke about it in the morning because she announced to her friends what I had said.
I can see my partner loves her time out with her friends and I love our time together alone far more than I'd love time out with friends. It's limited though because of 5 kids between us. I'm so deflated and regret getting drunk while the kids were in my care asleep - I let down myself, my partner and the kids - all the people I love because I was jealous and it was completely unacceptable.
I need to stop this jealousy and stop the need for so much attention. It's going to kill what we've got which most of the time is amazing - as a couple on limited occasions and as a family and blended family. I need to act differently before I lose everything I love 😞😪

I go out with my girlfriends and we enjoy a few drinks, we don't end up touching tongues, each to their own I guess, but maybe this relationship will not survive.

Ffs, you are not the first person to get pissed in charge of DC, at home, while they sleep. It's not wonderful, but in the real world it most likely happens more than once in most DC's lifetime, without them having any clue - parents have done it from time to time. You are over self- flagulating on that, just put it to bed as it was a one off, and nothing happened, really not a big deal.
I'm not in the LTB camp, it all seems a tad dramatic for a night out where female tongues touched. If she was repressed for many years, it's not surprising she's going large when out. I do feel however though, that it shows you are living your life too much in service to others.
I'm hearing you're about, time with her, time with your combined kids, that's your all. But really, you should have me time, and to be honest, if you don't have hobbies or mates or something else going on in your life, you are going to end up being seen as dull.
It will do the relationship some good if you either stand your ground and tell her she is being out too much, or go with her mother looking after DC's and take yourself off for the night - pick a hotel maybe, in the countryside, go for a hike or visit another city, visit museums, have time out.
You never answered how often she goes out, if this is every weekend, not surprising you are suffering from lack of togetherness.