I'm finding my mum really hard work to be around. She's always been a bit hyper and highly strung but in the last year it's become worse.
She's incredibly critical of me, how I parent and dismissive of my opinions - but always asking me for help with things. Eg I'll find her some tradesmen and if they don't do the work to her standard she'll lash out and say "well you told me to use them!!" 
She will come round and start moaning pretty much the minute she comes through the door. If my DC don't immediately rush to give her a hug (they see her often) she'll accuse them of not loving her, not wanting her there.
My DB has autism and MH issues. A lot exacerbated by her treatment of him (she literally treats him like a baby) and if I try to suggest they do anything differently with him that might benefit him, she'll lash out and accuse me of hating my DB. I'll protest and she'll shut me down.
She ruined DC birthday because she threw a massive strop about something she'd got the wrong end of the stick about and her and my DF refused to come to the gathering. DH family were like: are your parents not coming? I was so embarrassed by them. Then she messaged my DH and said she felt I was shunning them and "hadn't stopped crying" Wth!!!
She has an autoimmune disorder and struggles to sleep due to my DF, so not sure if that has something to do with it, but whenever I suggest she sleeps in a separate room, she changes the subject, or closes it down irritably.
I'm just exhausted by it all. Any advice?