How do you deal with a gaslighter/ narcissist

[leavingabusetoday]

I'm really struggling setting boundaries starting therapy which was exaggerated how important it is but it's hard to block and never contact certain people such as children's dads parents and so on so I wondered how anyone left or deals with their narcissist . Thank you

Research 'grey rock technique for when you have to have contact.

Thank you so much it's so weird because I always want to not be the bad person in their life's and used to send huge paragraphs trying to show that I wasn't trying to argue I was hurt by their actions and I'm learning to not do that so I almost have to rewrire my home brain

I think you have to get to a place where you realise nothing you can do will make a difference. You have to learn to no longer dance to their tune. You have to step out of that box, so to speak.
It doesn't matter what that person thinks, how they behave.
It's hard but it is freeing.

If child's dad is the narcissist and they are his parents then chances are they will always take 'his side'. They're also likely cut from the same toxic cloth as he is.

Set boundaries for YOURSELF as in, the treatment you will tolerate. If someone doesn't treat you right, remove them from your life as much as possible.

As pp above says, you have to get comfortable with the idea that some people won't like you.

Bullies for example, never like their victims. Even when they play nice, it's to trick you into a false sense of security. So dont try to be their friend. It won't keep you safe. Just avoid them as much as possible and use the grey rock technique so that you a. Seem like a boring victim. And b. Don't give them any extra amo to use against you.

Never tell them your dreams, goals or desires. If there's something you really want or look forwards to, they will likely try to ruin it for you. Always remember, they see you as the enemy. They don't want good things for you.

Similarly, do not tell them your weaknesses. They will kick you when you are down.