Do I bring it up or ignore?

[BVC]

Hi, looking for advice please.

Im early 40’s married mother of two, happy but busy family life. I work full time for a small company and have been there 7 years. Had a work trip abroad with my boss earlier this year, we get on well and are fairly close. He is older, married for 30 years and happy.

Ive noticed he has messaged me a bit more recently, work related and generally. I think the messages are slightly flirty from his side - I am friendly in general and we have a laugh.

After our works party I messaged him to say thank you and I got a reply saying I didn’t know what I meant to him! I brushed it off right away - I am very fond of him though and I can’t say if things were different in both our lives that wouldn’t want more. Since then we have gone back to normal but he seems more standoff ish.

Do I bring it up with him? Or just pretend it never happened? I don’t feel awkward around him and I’m not even sure he meant what he said how I interpreted it. I guess if I did discuss it I would say that I probably do know what I mean as I do suspect he has a soft spot for me, as I do him however nothing can or will ever happen. I just don’t want to say nothing as it feels wrong to ignore too.

Are you prepared to leave your job if it comes to it? In a small company it's a bit more awkward. Personally I would ignore and be nothing but professional (probably ceasing unnecessary communication) if you think there's anything even a smidge over normal friendship feelings from his side.

If you want to start a conversation on it, it's opening a can of worms imo. Words said can't be taken back, in a small company that may not work in your favour, especially as it's a boss.

You need to get away from the "and can't say if things weren't different in both our lives wouldn't want more" vibes and feelings. That's potentially coming across from your side and will be muddying the waters. That shouldn't even be a thought or consideration from you.

You are both on shaky ground, if you say something he may well tell you he does have a crush on you and in return I suspect from your wording that you also have a soft spot for him, then you have to decide what to do. I worked with someone who made it clear that he fancied me, we joked about it and I always had the situation in hand so it never went anywhere. Fortunately he got moved to another company, else I think I would have left.

As a pp has suggested, you’re perhaps about to cross a line. If you bring it up and he admits a soft spot, will you reciprocate those feelings? If so then it’s sort of emotional cheating in my opinion and it’s then hard to go back to a platonic work relationship.

This could become quite tricky working together and in your normal married life if things continue as they are but I guess it depends on what you want from
this.

Personally, I wouldn’t bring it up, I would keep being polite, friendly but overall professional and wouldn’t want to risk anything

I’ve been there OP and if you bring it up you’ll be playing with fire.

Thank you all.

Nothing will happen going forward, I don’t think he actually really wants anything either it’s probably just alcohol talking. It just felt ignoring it completely would be strange too given we have a good relationship. I can see already he’s stopped getting in touch as he was so he’s obviously regretting it anyway.

Ill be professional and nice like normal, but no more.

Agree just ignore and keep it business.

Definitely ignore it.

do nothing and say nothing !

keep a break and a distance over the Xmas break