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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please help

6 replies

Audrey020616 · 18/12/2023 05:09

I don’t know where to start really or if this the right place . 7 years ago I gave up a great career to look after my amazing son who has autism and a few other mobility issues . My husband left during covid as he could not cope with my older children and my elderly mum who lived with us . We stayed together but saw each other at weekends only and I was left caring full time for our so. - who I love with all my heart . I’ve been through some serious emotional issues which my husband did not support me on and turned to texting another women - only very friendly texts - although previous in relationship I have found explicit texts to other women . I have persevered and I though the last 12 months had been great - he has sworn he has left his flirting days behind him - he has always promised he’s never physically cheated - although the emotional chest has hurt more . He is always putting me down and moaning about what I do when I see him
but he says it’s because he’s missed me . He’s great with our son although he is now starting to talk down to me and belittle me . I have been willing to take all this as it’s important for my son he has 2 parents and a happy calm life . However today I have found out he is following prostitutes ect on face book and friends with people he had previously flirted with . I know I sound week but I’m not I just want to do the best for my autistic son and don’t want him to ho through a messy split up / I know if we brake up my husband will be vile about me - please help should I just forget what I’ve found or leave him - he’ll lie if I confront him he always has

OP posts:
Tilllly · 18/12/2023 05:17

Hi @Audrey020616

So your husband

Doesn't live with you because of your other family commitments
Puts you down
Lies to you
Flirts with other women
Has social media links to prostitutes

Have I missed anything?

But he's great with your son...

It sounds like he's checked out of the marriage but you're ok for a quick shag if there's nothing better around

I can't see any reason why you're still in the marriage

Audrey020616 · 18/12/2023 05:22

He doesn’t even want sex with me and I do try to initiate it - it’s over isn’t it - think I just needed hear it

OP posts:
Tilllly · 18/12/2023 05:38

Yes lovey
It's over

This is a slow painful demise, rip the plaster off and end it, he seems to weak to

Olika · 18/12/2023 05:43

Yes, it's over.

MsDogLady · 18/12/2023 07:09

Oh @Audrey020616, he is a horrible husband and father.

He abandoned all of you during Covid, essentially making you a single mother. Besides being unsupportive and unfaithful, he belittles you, which is a damaging dynamic for your son to be exposed to.

I wouldn’t give him the opportunity to manipulate. Consult a solicitor to learn your options and then tell him it’s over.

Susieb2023 · 18/12/2023 07:22

Another thread of a vile man constantly fishing for other women and accessing sex workers.

These men are disgusting.

My heart breaks for you. Leave this nasty man for good he is utterly revolting. You deserve so much better than the crumbs he tosses you.

Show him the door and don’t look back!

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