Feeling so unsure and mixed up about life at the moment. I am married to a wonderful man, he's kind, considerate and always supports me. More importantly he's a fantastic father to our 2 children.
The problem is that he works all the time in a job that makes him miserable. He joined his family business just befor we got married. This involved us moving further away from our friends and my family, frankly our relationship has been on a downward spiral ever since. His mum who he works with is a bully and honestly acts as if she doesn't even like him. His dad is a nice man but is just reduced to a bit of a shell after 40+ years married to her! He will not stick up for my husband and just turns a blind eye in order to have an easier life.
My husband works 60+ hours a week for these people and is always so miserable. He moans about the staff as well as his parents and seems to have lost all the passion he previously had for his profession. i dread him coming home as he brings such a grey cloud back with him. I have tried everything i can to encourage him to leave (he woukd find another job very easily) Unfortunately he just will not. This is simply non negotiable in his mind.I have accepted this now and I've created a nice life for us here, we have lovely friends and a community around us.
We spend time together as a family and generally have a nice time. Our children are happy and we do nice things together.
Is this enough?? We never spend time together and if we do we often just argue about domestic things such as house work, childcare arrangements, Jobs that need doing etc. We do not have any fun. We havent had sex in over a year (we are in our 30s)
He is always tired and stressed. I do the lions share of household tasks including looking after the children. I work 4 days a week in a busy job too! The difference is my job makes me happy. I have worked hard to be in the position I am in career wise. I have a great work life balance, earn decent money and can work flexibly (up to a point!)
I don't think my husband particularly loves me anymore, he's probably just too tired and fed up to even give it much thought honestly. I'm not sure if I love him either....... though I think he is a really great person. We have admitted during a previous low point that we would not still be together if it wasn't for our children.
Should I really throw away a happy family just because we don't really love eachother anymore?? The thought of being with anyone else makes me feel a bit sick so it isn't that I want someone else. I just want to be happy and not be dragged down my such misery all the time, especially when he flatly refuses to do anything about it!