Are all men like this? Or am I right to be mad?

[Cupcakes77]

I have been married to my husband for 2 years and we have a 6 month old little boy. Husband has recently started a new business and has been getting on with that alongside his main job. I do everything around the house, cooking, cleaning, raising our son, laundry etc. I have also started helping him pack orders that come through and take them out to post whilst he's at work. He moans if I muddle up his breakfast, he groans if i haven't done the laundry or if I've missed something. He never ever has a nice thing to say to me or about me! I wear something new he says nothing I cut my hair he says nothing. No matter what I do it's never good enough! We had an argument the other night where he so effortlessly listed my faults and I wondered you are so quick to say i'm miserable and whatnot yet you have never thought to say anything nice to me or show appreciation or compassion towards me. His excuse is oh this is what I am like I don't vocalise things like that- yet he vocalises negativity quite easily!

I feel like he just expects me to always be there and that i'll just help him no matter what and do my 'wife duties' regardless. I even help him with his packing till whatever time at night, and he had the audacity once to tell me oh you are going too slowly hurry up when I was stood up packing for 2 hours!

Today I had enough and snapped at him, am I overreacting? Or is it normal that a husband never has anything nice to say to or about his wife?

Sorry if I am rambling...🙃

Why did he start this business? Starting a business when your spouse isn’t supportive of it and you have a baby is a really bad idea. Striking out into self employment has to be a family decision not a one person decision.

Do you always praise him and would he say he feels appreciated and that you are always telling him what you like about him? It isn’t clear if you are doing that and he isn’t reciprocating or if neither of you are doing that but you are the one upset by it?

Is your father, brother, uncles, colleagues, male friends like that?

Why would all men be like it? Are women a collective who are all the same?

He was meant to start before baby came but couldn't. I would say I am more the one that compliments when he wears something new for exanple and the firsr day he got so many orders I could not be more happy and excited for him. But when he just puts me down and nevers says anything nice I do get miserable and say he has a horrible attitude towards me because he does!

When I cook something for example and he likes it, his response is silence. He says if I like it I won't say anything so you should know that I like it. But if I don't thats when I'll say something. He is so bsckwards. It is draining.

Maybe that was not the best way of wording it on my part sorry just wanted to vent! 🫣

Honestly OP drag your standards out of the bin, respect yourself enough to only allow yourself to be treated the way you should be. Do not give your time and effort and energy to someone who clearly doesn't reciprocate it. It should be an equal partnership, a team effort. Would you work with someone, or be friends with someone who treated you this way?

Being stressed and busy is one thing but it's not that. He is negging you constantly in order to keep you as his good little wifey doing his bidding. Just STOP and get yourself a decent standard of living. Surround yourself with people who bring you UP. He is dragging you DOWN.

'It's draining'

Because its emotional abuse, its designed to be draining. It's textbook abuse. Right down to the making you out to be crazy for wanting to be treated with basic human kindness.

Sorry op but he's never going to improve because he isn't a nice human being. He wasn't ever. He just thinks you won't leave him even if he starts showing it now.

If you stay, this is your life forevermore.
I mean, you can stop running around after him...but he will always make you feel like shit.

The bare minimum a partner should be is a warm human being. This guy is icy as fuck.

So you wouldn't say something like 'I'm not comfortable with what you just did'?

Has he always been like it? Not all men, just all shit men