DH and I have been together nearly 10 years. The first six were a dream. Then our DS was born and everything turned upside down. DH developed an addiction, mainly to alcohol, and seemed to struggle with becoming a father.
It turned out that his own parents fought violently during his childhood, his dad was an alcoholic. It seems these unprocessed traumas are playing out now in our lives. I made the decision to support him and pushed hard to get him to get help, and eventually he did - breaking through the denial was a huge moment.
He recently managed to get through rehab, and is clean now but very depressed. We have ups and downs, and are getting therapy, so it feels like we have a plan to move forward. But it's very hard for both of us. I struggle to maintain positivity during times when he's relentlessly negative, borderline rude. I try so hard to shield our DS from the impact of it all, but it gets harder the older he gets.
DH's family are less than helpful about the whole thing. FIL is alcoholic, MIL has decided I'm the worst thing to happen to her beloved son. Totally oblivious to the damage they've caused. SIL and partner are almost as suspicious about me. DH hasn't helped it all, he's not handled it well, with the result that his family concluded we're just incompatible - and it's nothing to do with DH's often less than great behaviour.
We both said we would try to work through it rather than splitting, but there's a few times I've thought about it. I remember how we used to be on cloud nine, and were so keen to start a family, only to be hit by the curve ball from hell. I fantasise about the happy life we thought we were going to have, rather than the daily drudgery of fighting through this. I'm so sad for us all, I dreamt of so much better for our family.
Has anyone been through similar? I hope that over time, his family will see the truth and understand our struggles and sacrifices. I hope we will make it through this, but I know that point isn't going to be imminent and I feel very alone. Any stories of coming through family difficulties would mean so much to me to hear right now.