NC as worried my other posts will link. Sorry this is long.
been with DH 12 years, have a small DC in nursery.
i can’t even remember how long it’s been going on for now, probably about 6 months, he’s miserable and causing a tense atmosphere at home with his moods.
he’s snapping at everything I do, nothing is good enough. I used to do most
of the cooking and cleaning and because he now mskes more effort in one room in the house the last few months, he now thinks that now he has the right to tell me everything I’m doing wrong. Picking at me constantly. I told him I feel like he’s bullying me and it’s upsetting me and his response was “I know I am but you do stupid things” I’m not stupid.
hes said a few times, especially when drunk recently that I’ve become “such a mum” and that I’m not putting any effort into our relationship. Basically the real issue is we aren’t having as much sex. I had a traumatic birth which took me over six months to heal from, then not long after I was back at work so have been exhausted adjusting to full time work and looking after our toddler who is a crap sleeper and refuses to go in the cot.
he says all I think about is our child. that he knew things would change once we had a baby but not this much.
ive been trying to make more effort, I initiated sex yesterday and last week but he’s still miserable. I don’t know what to do anymore.
hes sending mixed messages, he wants me and the DC out the house so he has alone time and moans that he’s never alone; and then he complains I don’t focus on him.
he says I focus too much on our child but I don’t know else I’m supposed to do? Ignore him? I also feel I can’t make any decisions because he’s always having a go at me.
im so confused and I feel like he’s pushing me away, yet he says it’s because he wants more time with me.
I’ve said I find it hard to get intimate because he’s always picking at me and destroying my confidence but I’m the problem.
hes also not very supportive of me in general; i recently got a new role and he doesn’t even care. Put a damper on it and now feel I can’t take it. Hes the closest person to me and he can’t get excited for me .
im struggling but i want this to work and to get my husband back, what can i do? I’ve suggested date nights. I’m trying. He doesn’t think going out as a family is quality time. Rarely comes out with us. We don’t have much support so going out alone is rare, it is hard but I guess I accepted it would be hard.