Hi MNs
My boyfriend of 10 years has slowly become more and more of a martyr over the last few years. But today has topped the lot.
He has a fever, couldn't get out of bed this morning, apparently was delirious most of the night and didn't get any sleep. I genuinely feel bad for him that he's that unwell. I took the kids out all day so that they'd be out of the house and we've had a fun day.
I've come home and he's gone to bloody work. He is the only one there (so not spreading germs) but why the fuck he thinks he needs to do this today, when he should be home resting, is infuriating. His job is v physical and focussed work, so will be tiring for him and i just do not get why he thinks its more important than resting so he can actually get better. He eill get sick again, be out for the count and this has negative effects for everyone.
He did similar a few weeks back: he was really poorly, i took the kids out all day, we came home and he had passively aggressively tidied up some of the house 'because it needed doing' and then was moody with me, potentially because I 'should have done the tidying' previously.
We have 2 kids, both under 6, who i have been the primary parent to, at the detriment to my freelance career. Over the last year i have had more time to put in to my career, which means i get to spend time at home by myself (9.30-2.30 four days a week, so not exactly loads but boy do I appreciate it!!). I think he maybe resents me this time. Or perhaps he resents that i don't spend all of it cleaning or doing what he would do.
Now he does work hard 'for us' which is appreciated and i have told him so so so many times that he should take it easy, take time to hinself but he very rarely does.
It's really making me dislike him. He gets wound up and takes it out on me and the kids. He was with the kids yesterday as i was doing some work training and my 4yo told me today that 'daddy kicked him yesterday'. Things like that have happened before. I'll be asking him about it later. I told my 4yo that what daddy did is not okay at all, even if he was playing up.
I dunno what response I'm after but it feels better getting this all out.