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Need a little rant about online dating!

3 replies

Datingahhhhhhhh · 17/12/2023 13:27

I have recently gone online, just to see what it’s like on there and I’m just a little deflated about the way men are on there. I only message back the ones who seem genuine, have more than one photo, look and sound decent on their profiles, and say they don’t want anything casual. But every single time they seem to go straight in with bringing up sex / wanting to do sexting / making inappropriate comments. I’ve had to say so many times, I’m not after a casual thing and also give the heads up at times saying they are coming on a bit strong but they just keep pushing to make it sexual and then they seem shocked or upset when I stop talking to them. I’ve had to block some. I just genuinely don’t get it. Does this type of behaviour actually work for some men?? The most recent one seemed really nice on his profile, had several pics, said he was looking for something real and not casual and after about 2 messages back and forth he starts saying he is very interested and what he imagines my body to be like etc! So that’s really put me off. What happened to just asking someone how they are, how their day has been, etc before jumping in with before “oh I like you, bet you have a nice rack!”

OP posts:
DGConsultant · 17/12/2023 14:02

It is a very stupid, immature strategy used by a lot of blokes on apps. You need to select a better, more up-market site/app. When I did Guardian dating yonks ago now, I'd never even have gone there with any of the women I chatted to/organised a date with.

Datingahhhhhhhh · 17/12/2023 14:13

I think I am just shocked they don’t even lead up to it or try to build a foundation first. The ones I respond to also appear to be decent men looking for something real. I am not sure what sort of genuine relationship they will get when their opening lines make them sound like a sex pest. If I was out on a night out and a guy came over to me and said, hi, have you got big boobs under that top? I would walk away. So why do men think online is any different? Maybe I do need to try a different site but this has completely put me off online dating. 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
DGConsultant · 17/12/2023 14:54

Some of It is cultural, instant gratification etc, some men lack emotional intelligence, conversational ability, and online provides a platform for the lack of a filter for the kinds of stuff you'd never come out with in person. Madness, actually.

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